Reverse Forward
A Novel
by
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Dear mommy, I learned that the smallest things can change lives, like a smile from a stranger, or three simple words “I love you”. I have learned to let things go, to cherish the great moments and to forget the ugly ones. I have learned that if it wasn’t for what happened and the pressure it put on me to grow up in some areas, I would still be the same sad, quiet Blair. The Blair that never talked, never looked up as someone passed by and the Blair that was terrified of acceptance and failure. I’m sitting at my same spot on the hill; you would love this place mom. The hill is forgotten and overgrown, the damp ground is soaking into my jeans and the sky is clear blue like after a hard rain. I can just see you sitting here with me, with your sketchpad, doodling away; I miss simply sitting next to you. It’s all the same every time I come, but that makes it even more beautiful to me. It’s the only place I feel steady, that’s not always changing on me. I’m thinking about the old me and why the heck was I like that? I still don’t know, and I’m not sure I’ll ever “really” know. Could it have something to do with you not being here mom, and that I was scared of facing the people and their sympathy? It’s starting to become clear to me, when I heard the fake understanding in the voices, it just made it seem even more real, and I couldn’t handle that. I couldn’t handle you being gone. -Your little bumble bee<3
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About the Book
“I sit up straight on my daybed, breathing hard, pushing my sheets down to my ankles. It’s still dark outside; the air is tranquil, hot and sticky. I run my fingers through my tangled hair and try to slow my breathing. I don’t understand why this dream keeps coming back…”
Scared and confused sixteen-year-old, Blair Chance, doesn’t know where to turn while running down the dark hallway known as life. Blair seems to have everything back in order after moving away from her humiliating past in Florida, to a new life in California.
With her two best friends by her side—at almost every moment—and Dad watching her every move, she forces herself to build a wall of lies to prove to them that the past is behind her, as well as the nightmares.
Despite her tough exterior, her subconscious turns her average nightmares into uncontrollably terrifying dreams.
A journey of self-discovery teaches her that sometimes the only way to move forward is to go back.
About the Author
Yvonne Didway has a heart for reaching out to the typical teenager, helping them to unravel the inner turmoil that goes unnoticed. Weaving personal insight into the novel, she can relate to the drama of the teenage years, and issues of faith. Yvonne began the work of writing Reverse Forward in Morganton, North Carolina, in 2007, and wrote through a couple of family moves, finishing the manuscript in 2011, while residing in Boiling Springs, South Carolina