Running with the Horses

In many ways we are still training our children today the same way we trained them a generation ago. The premise of this book is to suggest an adjustment in our training process—based on two things—the high attrition rate of 18-22 year-olds from the faith and/or the church, and this same age group’s biblical literacy and worldview shallowness. Our practice sessions should be preparing our children to enter this world with confidence, courage and conviction. If 70-90% of kids are walking away from their faith and/or church then something is wrong, or incomplete, with our practices.

As Jesus commissioned His disciples to take the Gospel into the world, He knew they would face intense opposition. If we want to expand and sustain the Christian ethic and worldview—if we want to equip our children to “run with the horses,” then we collectively must elevate and maintain a more compelling level of training and discipleship. Parents and churches have 6,570 days with our children before they typically enter the university—not that parenting ends at 18! The research is clearly pointing out that the depth of our training during this time does not match the intensity of the culture they are entering.

If I told you that certain practices served as predictors for children to continue in their faith throughout the turbulent adolescent and young adult stages would that interest you?

Sure it would. And, if I told you that you did not have to have a theological degree to lead your family through these practices would that encourage you? Sure it would. The practices I am talking about are based on a lot of research and they are doable in everyday life routines—if they are a priority and if you are intentional about it.

The importance of daily, weekly and annual goals

Most parents recognize the long term goal of producing godly offspring. I have never had a parent tell me that their desire for their children was anything less than being a follower of Christ throughout their lifetime. The problem is not the long term but the short term. Busy days turn into busy weeks which turn into busy months. Before you realize it a year has gone by and then two or three years. An annual plan needs to be broken down into weekly goals and weekly goals need some daily direction. I have stated before that I believe this is where the “traction” begins. This is where children especially begin to notice patterns, priorities and principles—this is authentic discipleship. Jesus did not take his team out on a retreat once a year—it was daily. Everyone in the family needs daily goals for their personal spiritual development plan. Every marriage needs daily and weekly goals to keep the intimacy going. And, every family needs some daily and weekly goals that keep the parent-child relationship focused and intentional.

I want to invite you to dive into developing your own family plan. My guess is that you are already doing most of what I even suggested. Perhaps a few small tweaks will even make it more intentional. One of the intangibles about the Family Plan was that it truly provided “guard-rails” for me, and us, to stay on track. With daily and weekly goals we alleviated the problem of busyness taking over. Within a few days or weeks we could tell if we were getting out of balance as a family, as individuals or in our marriage. We would run into the daily and weekly routine “guard-rails” if we were steering off the road, the accountability that we needed.

I often challenge parents to write on a 3x5 card the top characteristics they want their children to have when they are older, especially around the college age. I see in Acts 17 Paul imitating Christ and exhibiting a maturity paradigm that could serve as a very balanced 3x5 card goal sheet. What exactly constitutes an Acts 17 disciple? What is it that Paul does in Athens that applies to today? What can we glean from this narrative in scripture that could help us train our children whether in the developmental years of two to eight years old; the preteen years of nine to twelve years old; or, the pre-adolescent and adolescent years of thirteen to eighteen years old?

• Paul was not fearful of the world
• Paul understood the importance of taking every thought captive (II Cor. 10:5)
• Paul had developed discernment by “practicing” (Heb. 5:14)
• Paul had developed the attitude of Christ (Phil. 2:2-11) knowing that he was to love and serve and ultimately be an aroma for Christ
It is paramount that we all understand and embrace God’s instructions to Moses in Deuteronomy. It is important for parents, pastors, youth leaders, teachers, and basically everyone who invests into the training of the next generation. God’s plan to train the next generation centered on parents. Based on Deuteronomy 6:7-8 the training of children is the primary responsibility of parents--
“These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up” (6:6-7).
It is my belief that, in order to counteract our culture’s impact on our children and to produce biblically literate and confident disciples of Christ, we need only to look to Jesus’ own training method. His plan was defined, deliberate and deep. He understood the task ahead of Him, He created situations to produce depth in His followers’ belief system, and He was deliberate –using common, relevant examples to permanently engrave His teachings upon their hearts. These three principles established by Christ should serve as the foundation of raising our children. And, as you continue to read Running with the Horses, you will see that the book has specific sections devoted to these three areas: Defining the Race, Forming a Deliberate Plan and Creating Depth.
The theme for this book is,
“If you have run with footmen and they have tired you out, then how can you compete with horses? If you fall down in a land of peace, how will you do in the thicket of the Jordan?” (Jeremiah 12:5).
As modern-day disciples of Christ, we are running in the same race—a race with challenges, trials, and different forces competing for our hearts, especially our children. The more we seek to understand the race, the better equipped we will be to train our children for success—not in the eyes of the world, but in the eyes of Christ.
Whether your child is 18 months or 18 years old, this book will guide you through the process of preparation for the “race” that awaits him in the secular world. It will also assure you that it is never too late to begin this process.