You May Now Kiss the Bride

PROLOGUE
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The big day has finally arrived—the day both bride and groom have been eagerly looking forward to! It will mark the moment when the two will become one. No matter how long or short the courtship; no matter all the myriad of details involved in planning for the wedding, the reception and the honeymoon, that is all history now. Anticipation and expectation are about to become reality.
The processional begins. The bride comes down the aisle, never looking more beautiful and resplendent as she does in her wedding dress. The groom can hardly contain his pleasure as her father takes her hand and places it in his. Hand-in-hand, they stand silently as the soloist sings the song especially chosen for the occasion. The minister exhorts each with words of wisdom. The wedding vows are spoken. Wedding rings are exchanged. The groom eagerly responds to the long awaited phrase “You may now kiss the bride.” He turns, draws her in to himself, and in this moment of ecstasy, kisses her.
With this public expression of their new relationship together, history forever records their presentation to the invited guests as husband and wife—two individuals now sharing that unique oneness called marriage.
The minister presents them to the congregation as husband and wife. They tingle with excitement as they hear those words for the first time, husband and wife. There is applause as the recessional begins.
Going back down the aisle, they have the biggest smiles, but lost in their excitement, they barely hear the applause. Their joy propels their steps along more quickly than when the bride walked in on her father’s arm. They enjoy another quick kiss in the foyer and then, turning around, begin to greet their guests.
After the hand shaking and hugs, they run to a limousine amid rice, bubbles, balloons or confetti, and drive off with horns blaring, heading for the reception. They spend a delightful evening with their many guests. Then slipping away for a change of clothes, they are finally off to the long anticipated honeymoon.
During the next few days, the euphoria of the wedding continues. It is enhanced by the intimacy intrinsic to marriage. Their first impression of marriage? The thrilling experience of all things new is beyond their wildest dreams. They keep talking about the highlights of the wedding—even though the details are a bit of a blur.
They recall the minister welcoming the guests (they don’t remember a word he said) and offering a prayer (they remember he said “Amen”). She does remember the minister asking, “Who gives this woman to be married to this man?” She remembered her father choking up when he said, “Her mother and I.” They recall the moment when the groom, all smiles, accepted her hand. They won’t fully realize until later that, by this symbolic act, a father was giving notice to witnesses—and to the world—that the responsibility of providing for his daughter was now transferred from parents to the groom—a man they didn’t know all that well but their daughter told them she loved him and he loved her. What her father and mother saw of him during the courtship seemed to bear that out.
They remember saying their vows. The groom says, laughing, “Remember how hard it was to light the unity candle!” Nodding her head in agreement, his bride laughs too. They remember that first kiss, shared passionately, and then the second reassuring one in the foyer!
The pleasure of remembering their special day is almost overwhelming. The details will have to wait for the DVD.
As the honeymoon comes to a close, practical aspects of life together begin to intrude on the happiness experienced during the first few days of life together. They return to the apartment they rented and enjoyed furnishing. If he’s a traditional groom, he carries his giggling bride over the threshold into their new home.
They are no longer living in separate apartments and their new kitchen belongs to both of them. Who decides what they will have for supper? His suppers consisted mostly of hamburgers. Salads are her first choice. Who sets the table? Who washes the dishes after supper and puts them away? How will they spend the evening? These little questions are all new. Bigger questions will come a little later. They resolve that first menu problem by ordering in pizza. After supper, they cuddle on the sofa. He puts his feet up on the coffee table and she raises her eyebrows. That puzzles her but she says nothing.
*Prolog2.Kiss.jpg After a few days, he does it again so she asks him “Do you always put your feet on the coffee table?” It is his turn to be puzzled. “Sure,” he responds. “We always relax this way at home.” No big deal, he thinks. He dismisses her question as unimportant and turns back to the TV screen. She continues to mull it over. She can’t remember him doing that over the months they were courting. Her mother would certainly disapprove!
Over the next few months, other differences will come to light. In time, after so many little differences surface, a question begins to form in the back of each of their minds: “Is this the same person I knew and loved while we were courting?”
They had concluded while courting, they were very compatible. They both liked bowling. After one such occasion, while heading home, he suggested they stop at a restaurant. It was after midnight and she was tired, but she brightened up and said “Sure, that’s a great idea!” Seated, they asked each other “What shall we eat?” and, laughing, both decided to order breakfast. She ordered eggs over-easy with Canadian bacon and he quickly said, “Ditto.” He didn’t particularly like Canadian bacon, but knew if he ordered what she ordered, she would be pleased. When served, he reached for the ketchup bottle and asked, “Ketchup?” She looked at his plate and mustering up a smile, responded, “I guess. Thanks.”
During courtship, she discovered he liked to attend sports events. When he suggested they attend a game, she agreed because she enjoyed being with him, not because she cared a lot about sports. She had fun watching him enjoy himself. Then she invited him to a concert and he said he was happy to go and be with her—but classical music was definitely not his thing.
Are they compatible? He had assumed she liked sports; she had assumed he liked to go to a concert of the classics. They both ate eggs and Canadian bacon with ketchup, and both liked to be together. They decided the ‘chemistry’ was good between them. They discovered they really loved each other, and after a proposal of marriage, set the date for their wedding.
Now, as the days pass, they discover that the joy they felt on their wedding day and during the honeymoon was being subtly reshaped by the reality of trying to relate together in the everyday experiences that make up married life.
You May Now Kiss the Bride describes what a couple may encounter after their solemn vows have been sealed by ‘the kiss.’ There can be much joy, but there will be inevitable yet unexpected and unpleasant potholes and bumps in the road. Those are warning signs and they are saying Slow Down and Pay Attention!
Principles explained in this manual will enable husbands and wives avoid potholes, repair breakdowns, and preserve marital happiness.