Hope in the Midst

The cry of my daughter's heart was audible as she asked, "Mommy, what did I do to deserve this?" How do you explain to your child she isn’t to blame for being sick. She didn’t do anything that could precipitate a catastrophic illness. At the age of ten, and in tremendous pain, my daughter pled for an answer. She wanted to know what she had done wrong, so she could try to never do it again. Does that sound familiar? How many times do we ask God what we did to deserve something? We find it hard to understand the truth. God doesn’t make people sick, or cause things we tend to blame Him for. He is, however, faithful to be there with us through the circumstances we face. Quietly, gently so as not to disturb the bed she lay in, I sat next to my daughter. I knew the slightest movement could cause her physical pain to increase. I looked into her eyes, rimmed with tears, trying to steady my breaking heart, and knew it was a moment of truth for both of us. I tried to explain, to bring comprehension and truth to her thinking, that God was not the cause of what she was going through. It’s not His character. “Further,’ I heard myself say aloud, as I prayed silently, ‘I don’t know why you are sick. We may never know the why of this.” My thoughts continued to tumble out, “but there are some things we do know, and we are going to choose to believe those truths.” There were no words to make the pain go away, or change the circumstance of the moment, only truth that could change our way of viewing things. I let my daughter ask what she needed to, without fear of the possible answers. God is faithful, of this I had been sure. I had seen His faithfulness in my life and in the lives of others around me. After all, hadn’t He been faithful in providing someone to help point us in the right direction to get an accurate diagnosis of my daughter’s health? Hadn’t He also answered the specific prayer I prayed that we find out the truth of what was happening to her, no matter what the truth was? Although I was scared about what the future held, I had to make a choice. “We are going to hold God to His word, and believe He is faithful,” were the words I spoke to my daughter, and the truth I chose to believe. She looked at me, and nodded, trusting I was telling her the truth. As we sat together, on that afternoon, now so long ago, our hearts were being comforted. A peace settled in my soul. I knew I could rest in the fact that God would be there with us, and no matter what we were to face, we wouldn’t do it alone. The words of Jesus, found in John, chapter 14, were coming alive to me. I was realizing that the same Counselor, the Spirit of truth, Jesus had asked His father to provide for His disciples, was right there with me and my family. Little did I know how much I would rely on the truth of those words to carry me through the months and years yet to come. As Mary Rose and I searched the scriptures together, we came across the promise in Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Words that described us both, and would be read over and over again, as we continued to face the future. Mary Rose found particular comfort in hearing Psalm 23 read to her. We talked about Jesus being our shepherd, and how we could imagine walking with Him beside quiet waters, as the psalm describes. We were learning that although things around us were uncertain and could be terrifying, we would find peace within us as we chose to focus on God and His promises. Truth in Action What is your moment of truth? Have you received devastating news about health issues, a job, or an infidelity? Life can be seemingly calm one moment, and change dramatically with the answer of a phone call, or the reading of a letter. Such was the case of our family. As our world changed beyond our control, it was difficult to believe God was still with us. Choices had to be made. When facing those moments of great uncertainty, don’t be afraid to be honest and raw with God.