HERETICS from HEAVEN

And so it is that many years ago, back in the 1980s, I sat down to order breakfast in a Denny’s restaurant when God, out of the blue shall we say, suddenly decided to show me what heaven would be like. There was a small revival going on in the church I attended back then, but I did not feel all that revived. I thought that God was probably unhappy with me. It had been a long time since I felt close to him. I did not know how to get close to him. I even thought the church would be better off without me, except for my little monetary contributions. In any case, just as I ordered my breakfast, a tangible presence suddenly came over me, and the most remarkable feeling of joy. I smiled for a minute and began to chuckle, but since I was in public, I tried to stifle these sensations. But that only made whatever the Spirit was doing pile up inside me, and I began to laugh even more loudly. Best I can tell, God was revealing to me how real heaven would be to us one day and how silly, temporal, and selfish this world will appear—a sort of narcissistic creation of the devil, a little aberration in God’s wonderful plan for our eternal welfare. My life here, no matter what I accomplished, would just make me laugh one day. The things humans called “good” seemed like a funny abomination. What we once called “love” would seem a self-absorbed notion to all in heaven, whatever unselfishness people claimed to have seen in us. I seemed to be living in that future time, laughing at my life and the rest of the world. Jesus said, “Fortunate are those who mourn now, for they shall laugh,” which seemed like a laughable understatement. This world is such a zoo, with the blind leading the blind, and taking themselves seriously. One day, to all people I pray, this will seem only a fool’s paradise, and we will only laugh at our version of love, justice, mercy and faith, which was all I could do at that restaurant. I got up and went to the restroom and as I passed people some of them laughed as well. They could tell that whatever had come over me was very real and spontaneous. They could see I was trying to stifle my outbursts even as they kept erupting from the heart of my being. I stayed in the restroom for about five minutes, and while I seemed to be able to regain control for a minute, there was no way I could control God within me. He was the one who seemed to be laughing, and as soon as I left the restroom I burst into laughter again, a kind of loud guttural chuckle from a place in my being that was obviously somewhere else in time and space than I was. Of course there is nothing funny about this world and all its evils, yet it will be funny someday to see how silly our definitions of “good works,” “good life,” “progress,” and “love” will seem to us. I think I was taken to that future time for a few minutes. As I was leaving the restaurant, I left a relatively large amount of money on the counter and said “sorry (spontaneous chuckle), I have to (spontaneous chuckle) go now.” I drove around for a half hour or so, laughing, and decided to go to the rented house where I lived with several roommates. One of them was kind of religious and worried about different things. By the time I arrived home, I thought I had calmed down completely, but the minute I walked in and saw her face, I burst out laughing again. All the things we worry about here will seem like such a waste of time one day. Let us note that at the time of this little visitation, I did not do or believe any of the following: 1. I did not believe evolution, science and God were incompatible per se, nor do I now. 2. I did not go to any church with statues or stained glass windows in it, nor had I ever prayed to Mary, or entered a temple in white clothes or faced east to pray. 3. I did not pray to, hold masses for, or baptize the dead, as if only my church ritual could save them, as the Mormons and some others insist. 4. I did not pastor a mega-church, or any church for that matter. 5. I had never been in a Mormon Temple, visited the Holy Land, or been anywhere near the Pope, nor did I have the slightest inclination to do so. 6. I never made a CD for Jesus, nor did I have any other talent to use for him that I know of. 7. I was not yet sure about many things I read in the Bible. I did not take most of Genesis literally. I thought Paul was either unclear or inconsistent in several passages, although since then I have reconciled all but a few verses, (and have greatly benefitted from his revelations). 8. I did not pray more than 30 minutes a day, meditate, or perform any rituals at all. The only thing I did that was Christian-like was study the New Testament a great deal, read books (mostly by Nee), and study church history and revival. (By the way, Nee only wrote one book. The rest of the books bearing his name were his “talks” published by other authors). I did try to spend time with Christians I considered wise and insightful. 9. I did not think Jesus had much use for me, although I hoped he would find some use for me. Doubtless some of my readers wish he would find a use for me as well. I’m not, nor have I ever been religious material, but that made no difference to God. It is rather sad to see all the rituals people go through for nothing. They get “married in the temple,” pay their tithes, go to mass without fail, pray for the dead, and build a thousand buildings God will never visit. They let spiritually dead people advise them on how to stay out of hell, never asking any unpleasant questions. Jesus wants to flood our “innermost” beings with his living water, but we settle for little drops of it. We try to love our neighbors, never having experienced the flood of love which came down from heaven into the souls who finally admitted, ”I did all I was told to do and I’m still thirsty.”