Jesus And

Sometimes when we suffer, instead of feeling that God is with us, we feel as though God has bailed on us—literally abandoned us. We think, where is God while I’m suffering all this terrible stuff? It may be the suffering caused by cancer and its dreadful chemotherapies and surgeries, the suffering caused by the death of a loved one, the suffering caused by being on the receiving end of ugly and dehumanizing injustice, or suffering as death creeps up on us and our life begins to ebb away. In my experience, the worse the suffering, the more likely we are to wonder where God went. To be pretty sure that wherever God is, he isn’t with us—if he were, then surely things would be different! That might make us wonder whether God cares or even knows what we’re going through. And, then we might be mad at God or even question his existence. And when that happens, it usually gets even worse for some of us! Some of us begin to feel guilty that we are mad at God, guilty about accusing God for not being fair and for doubting his love and goodness. And then some of us will worry that God will be mad at us about all of that. Sigh. All in all, it makes something that’s already horrible even worse. The tough reality is that suffering can be so bad we feel as though God has abandoned us. What do you think: does God understand why we feel that way, or is God profoundly offended and disappointed in us? And, how can we be sure of the answer?

Here is how we know for certain that God understands our awful feelings of abandonment. As is often the case, what we know about this comes from Jesus. As you probably remember, when Jesus was suffering and dying on the cross he experienced the absence of God. And he said so: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46). Another translation is also reliable: “why have you abandoned me?” He said it in a loud voice that could be heard by his mother, the women disciples and John the youngest of the male disciples. And even heard by his enemies. So, what do you think: did God also hear that cry, or had God really abandoned Jesus so that his cry was heard by lots of people but not by his Father in heaven? I want to be as clear as possible about this, because it’s kind of a do or die issue for our faith and our suffering: The Father did not forsake the Son as he suffered and died. The Father was right there with Jesus, sharing his suffering, more profoundly, even, than loving parents share the suffering of their children. If that’s so, why did Jesus cry out that God had abandoned him? Because that’s exactly what Jesus was experiencing at that moment.

Let’s explore this because at stake is who God is and what we can count on from God as we suffer and even as we doubt. Let’s begin with this, something I said in Chapter One: when the Eternal Son became a human being, he took onto himself everything about us. Everything, including our ability to suffer so much that it’s worse than most people can imagine. He took on everything, including being tempted (but without sinning, Hebrews 4:15-16). Everything, including the doubts even believers have, and even including our experience of the absence of God. In Jesus the Only Son, God has experienced what it’s like to doubt him and why we sometimes are sure he isn’t there—couldn’t be there—if we are suffering so badly. How can I know that God doesn’t judge me for yelling at him about forsaking me—or crying from the depth of my being, “where are you?” The answer is, I know that because Jesus my Savior did the same thing and the Father still loved him . . . and still was with him even though Jesus didn’t think so in those ugly moments.

You know, there are lots of reasons I love God and God’s Only Son, but one of the most precious to me is that Jesus suffered and that he has shared my experience that sometimes I think God isn’t with me. That is such a comfort to me. Such a blessing. Such a reason to have hope even in the midst of suffering and even in my impertinent questions and outright doubt. God knew I’d have those unsettling, painful, even frightening thoughts, and his Only Son experienced them on the cross, so I’d know he knows. And I know he is with me anyway because he was with Jesus when he felt God’s absence. Because of that I know he loves me still right in the moments I’m having them; he’ll stick with me through them until I come out the other side with his loving, patient help.

What do you think: is there any biblical evidence that what I’ve said in the previous paragraph is really the way things are between us and God about our doubts? Let’s start with what Jesus said from the cross. He was quoting Psalm 22. Jesus knew that psalm, of course. And he knew that the convention of his day was that to quote the first verse of a psalm was to refer to the entire psalm.