The Other Shoe
Beyond Our Vows
by
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Chapter 11
We played softball several times a week, swam and played in the lake at my folks. Life seemed pretty good. I moved up in the insurance world, changing jobs a few times and we were saving what we could for a home and a family. Since I was always drawn to kids, I couldn’t wait until we would have our own. Jay also wanted a big family but we waited while we built up the business and lead our very busy lives. Mom also kept reminding me how much children cost and we should try to plan ahead for them. I actually used birth control for the first five years of our marriage which certainly turned into a joke when I had fertility issues after that.
Anyway, I should also state that “I” was trying to save for future things because most of what Jay made, went right back into the business. Jay provided “fun” money and always wanted to go to the movies and out to eat. Now, part of that was the fact that I was not a very good cook and part of that was Jay just liked the movies. I think the movies were a way that he could escape his life and get into roles that he always wanted to find himself in. He was so busy with work that he truly enjoyed the plots of other people’s lives. I always thought that if Jay had a college education, he’d be dangerous. In retrospect, I know that some money Jay was making was not reported on any invoices . . . he always seemed to have side jobs he was working on. He also had a secret that he kept from me for over 26 years. It was that secret that contributed to most of our conflicts in life.
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About the Book
I began writing years ago when faced with perplexing choices in life. Some of the information shared here has also been told through a documentary that was done by my ex-husband. At the time, I was included in his story for the benefit of their message on gender issues.
However, my focus is more on what makes me, me . . . It’s more related to why I felt the need to support some events in life and why I retreated from others. Acceptance is key here. I cannot change events that happened anymore than I could change the way my husband felt about himself. I cannot change the illness and death of my father anymore than I could change the fire that destroyed our business. I cannot change the memory of being chased out of a house by gunpoint. I have to accept that my life is being guided by lessons previously learned and experienced. It is being watched over by God, and it is completely in his hands.
My acceptance is the joy that I find in nature and family. It’s reflected in my work for those with special needs, both on and off a horse. It is in the delight I have when walking through the woods or catching turtles on a beach. My days are not perfect, but I accept that too, because life is always changing and you can’t hang on to the past. Hopefully, I can let it go and look forward to the ever-changing events of life. Welcome to my world!
About the Author
Serenity Sole lives in the Midwest and has worked in the therapeutic world for 40 years. Her unique life experiences have blended well in working with special needs individuals.