The Perfect Place

Introduction

WHAT DOES IT MEAN to be a caregiver? By definition it means:

a person who gives help and protection to someone (such as a child, an elderly person, or someone who is sick.) The full definition (per Merriam-Webster Dictionary) is a person who provides direct care (as for children, elderly people, or the chronically ill.) Sounds easy enough, right? Right.

I’ve been a caregiver half my life. As an only child, I was twenty- three when my father was diagnosed with Stage 4 metastatic lung and brain cancer; twenty-five when he died. At age thirty I received the call that my mother had been diagnosed with breast cancer; it would come back again nine years later. I’ve seen firsthand my mom’s struggle with caring for then losing her husband of twenty-eight years and I’ve faced a daughter’s reality of being the only one left to care for an ailing parent.

Don’t misunderstand. Scripture tells us to honor our father and mother and I have considered it to be a privilege to care for them during their time of need and would do it all over again if necessary. It’s just…well…nothing prepared me for the struggles and sacrifices I would have to make along the way.

It was my own experience as a caregiver that drew me to this project. Taking care of someone who has cancer, or any illness for that matter, is hard. But caring for someone with dementia comes with its own issues and difficulties. Not to mention there are several different types of dementia: Alzheimer’s (the most commonly known), Parkinson, Lewy body, and Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome just to name a few. Each one comes with its own set of challenges, not just for the patient, but also for the loved ones who are caring for them.

That’s where The Perfect Place comes in. A faith-based adult day care located in Chandler, Arizona they offer a loving and nurturing environment for adults suffering from various forms of dementia; and a much-needed respite for their caregivers. I’ve spent the past two years interviewing caregivers, staff and volunteers for this book; the stories are uniquely theirs, told in individual vignettes with the common theme of what it’s like to care for someone with dementia. Some folks are identified, others asked that their names not be used.

You will also meet Hilda Morris, a 98 years young participant at The Perfect Place, who has graciously allowed us to include some of her beautiful poetry throughout this book.

This book provides an honest look at the challenges caregivers face when caring for someone with dementia. In it you will meet several incredible individuals who, when faced with their loved one’s dementia diagnosis, did all of the following: struggled, cried, laughed, prayed, and reached out to find help at a place called The Perfect Place.

~Juanita Dean

“I lift my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.” —Psalm 121:1–2