The Warrior Wife

In the New Testament, with the coming of the Holy Spirit and His indwelling presence, we no longer have excuse for acting out in ways that dishonor God and our marriages. So then, what is the problem? Men attend church every Sunday but continue to struggle spiritually.

This is what God revealed to me: The enemy has worked diligently through centuries to deceive, distract, discourage and destroy man’s identity and keep him from emerging as the Kingdom leaders God designed them to be.

In the book of James we read, “…the effectual fervent prayers of a righteous man avails much.” The last thing Satan can allow is God’s men to start living in their own warrior armor. He has kept them from seeing their true identity in Christ by keeping their focus on themselves and their inability to be the men God calls them to be. He has blinded them to the empowering work of the Holy Spirit, and inspires them to trust in worldly principles rather than live out radical faith.

I hold this radical vision of Christian men around the world, those who have been saved by grace, through faith in Jesus Christ, flexing spiritual muscle and entering into fervent intercession on behalf of our families, churches and communities. Our work as warrior wives is to clear a spiritual field around our husbands so the love and grace of God can bless and prosper them - spiritually.

I observe my husband’s emotional despair as he wrestles with the injustices and atrocities in our country. Nightly news is rampant with devastating violations of human rights in every form. Young girls are victimized by sex trafficking; the shooting of a young black man by a white security officer raises national outrage while a young white couple suffers mutilation, rape, dismemberment and eventual death at the hands of several black men, the story kept out of mainstream headlines. American men travel to Costa Rica to have legal sex with young boys, while pornography, divorce and workaholism runs rampant in the church. I know God’s wants to equip him for battle in the spiritual realm where he will indeed be a force to be reckoned with.

I am not the expert on men and I don’t pretend to be. There are many books available that teach better than I can what specifically God has created in a man. What I do know is that God’s men are acutely aware of how they fail to measure up to God’s standards. Many live under a cloud of self disappointment and hopelessness. As their wives, we can make their journey even more like hell by our self-centered demands based on our unmet needs that consistently affirm his already low sense of worth and value. This kind of “wife-ry” leads to a miserable kind of marriage.

There are other ways to effect change in your marriage like, for example, being quiet. This of course, makes women laugh because we are so sure God’s wants us to be the correctors and directors of our husbands’ lives; particularly their responsibility to be the spiritual head of the house. We need to learn how to speak our peace, quietly and respectfully and then shut up! A simple rule of thumb would be this - if you have already said it more than three times, it has become nagging.

This book is about cultivating a fulfilling, prosperous, happy marriage by starting with wives who are solid in their relationship with God; who are able to see into the spiritual dimension with wisdom and discernment; who are willing to enter into the Throne Room for intercession and receive the power necessary to walk in a faith posture that is attractive to her husband. We win them by our gentleness, not our angry bitter complaining demands. Proverbs 14:1 says that a wise woman builds her house; but the foolish one tears it down with her own hands. We seek wisdom.

This book is not about a new idea or concept to get husbands to cooperate and get with our way of thinking. It is about seeing yourself in a new light, one in which your confidence is in God. You know beyond a doubt that He adores you and longs to be in relationship with you. We make the mistake of requiring our husbands to be to us what only God can be. It is in the intimacy of marriage that God is able to express His extraordinary and perfect love. It is His intention that married love be the purest form of holy love…covenant based, mission-ally minded and deeply fulfilling for both individuals. You will not find some magic incantation here that will enable him to finally see things your way. Nor will you find any promise that your marriage will survive after even this.

What you will learn or reaffirm here is that in Christ Jesus you are given position, authority and power in His name. You have the privilege of conquering demons in the battles that rage above and about you – the spiritual realm. You will learn to align with God in a way that leaves your self-centered focus behind to embrace the thrilling adventure that awaits you, fueled by passion for God, His plans and His purposes.

You will learn to love your husband as a co-creator of life and love here on earth rather than demand he provide for you in ways of which he is clueless and that in reality only God can. As you each have your needs met by God Himself, you are free to pour into each other in ways that build harmony, unity and purpose into your marriage.

The Proverb says it is better for a man to live on the roof top of his house than with a contentious (argumentative) woman. We want our husbands in the house and in our beds – with us.