Coming Out Of Cage
Journey of a Tiger Mom
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When I see children being hurt by well-meaning and sincerely caring parents like me, students being stressed out of shape by the cookie-cutter education system which measures students according to their test scores, families getting disillusioned by the faulty and failing education system, parents getting terribly despaired by their children’s inability to arrive at the level of success as anticipated, or fiercely tormented by their children’s struggles with unexpected physical, mental, emotional and other health issues…. I know that I have to write this book and share my experiences with them.
There are five major lessons that I have been learning as I am going through a healing and reconciliation process:
Realizing that I do not always know what is the best for my children, because I am limited by my own inadequacies, personal shortcomings and baggages from the past.
Admitting humbly that I have made many mistakes, poor choices, improper actions and wrong decisions in raising my children, and seeking forgiveness and establishing trust with them accordingly.
Being teachable, patient, ready and willing to listen and find out my children’s best interests from their standpoints, and help them attain their goals appropriately.
Being resilient in facing challenges and unceasing in making progress as a parent as well as a person by relying on God’s Word and Spirit.
Allowing God’s love to fill my heart so that I could love my children and others unconditionally and authentically.
This book is not a “how-to” parenting guidebook. It may offer a mirror for parents to take a closer look at their own motives and reasonings behind their parenting style and focus. Hopefully, by becoming more aware as to why and how they hold their children to certain
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About the Book
This book is written for all parents, especially Chinese and Asian parents who come from a cultural background that holds education in the highest regard.
Many of us parents are willing to put in a lot of our time, resources, and energy to provide the best educational opportunities for our children in hopes that they will excel academically and be successful in life. We may think we are making sacrifices, but too often, despite our good intentions, we end up stressing out and hurting our children!
Loving our children means wanting the best for them and doing everything we can to help them attain their goals. The problem is that we don’t necessarily know what is best for our children, or what their goals are. What we think is best for them may not be their best; and the goals we set for them may not be their goals. To better understand our children, we need to build a safe, secure and trusting relationship with them, so that they could communicate their needs and thoughts with us with ease and confidence.
Often times, our children may not feel our love, because they think we are treating them like projects that need to be improved. With the pressure from parents, peers, schools, society, culture, and the pressure from within themselves, many of our children develop problems like aggression, addiction, anxiety, anger, depression, low self-worth, poor grades, sleep disorders, eating disorders, weight problems, etc.
About the Author
The author came to America with her family from Taiwan at age fifteen for the quality education offered in California. Not to disappoint her parents and herself, she got a BA degree from UC Berkeley, a JD Law degree from USF, and passed the California Bar exam. She went even further from her parents’ expectation for her to serve as an elected school board trustee, and as a board director of various nonprofit organizations. She raised her children with the same expectations. However, as she encountered serious parenting problems, she began to see how her priorities in life had been misplaced. Through the many trials in life, she has gradually learned to see the Lord as her all in all. Only through Christ Jesus, will she be able to find true love, joy, peace, purpose, focus, and contentment in life. Only as a loved person, will she be able to love her children and serve others authentically and unconditionally.