foreseen.forgiven.FREE.

Behind closed doors he took it to another level. He installed a lock on the outside of the bedroom door at the apartment and locked me inside the bedroom each weekend. Other men were invited to the room. I never knew the men that came or how many would come in a night.

Sometimes we would take road trips where he would sell me for anywhere from one to three nights to one man or groups of men. In Colorado I was sold to a man who took me to a remote cabin for three days. In Washington DC I was sold to a group of executives in a penthouse suite for one night.

In my darkest hour I needed God desperately. I knew He was there; I just didn’t know how to find Him. The good news is that I didn’t need to find Him. He was there all along, waiting to breathe new life back into me.

When we are in the darkest of valleys, we pray to the Lord and ask Him to get us out of the valley. Often times, instead, He takes us by the hand and leads us to the center of the valley. He leads us to the center where there is no where to hide, no where to turn away from the desolation, no way to deny the reality. And then He leads us back and forth. He intends for us to spend some time in the valley, and not just in one place. He wants us to walk back and forth, to see it all. In fact, He leads us to take steps forward and steps backward. When we are in need of healing from a dark place in our lives, our tendency is to avoid those places, often burying hurts with the intention that they be buried forever. Though that may seem the less painful route, each hurt in our lives was put there for a specific purpose, and God does not want us to miss a part of His divine plan.

In Ezekiel 37 we read the story of Ezekiel’s experience with the Lord in the Valley of Dry Bones. There are a couple of words and phrases that I think were chosen carefully in these verses. In Ezekiel 37:1 the NIV translation uses the word “set”. “The hand of the Lord was upon me, and He brought me out by the Spirit of the Lord and set me in the middle of a valley; it was full of bones.” This word, “set”, implies something done deliberately and with purpose. God doesn’t just take us anywhere in the valley. He “sets” us someplace intentionally to learn something specifically. Ezekiel 37:2 in the NIV translation uses the phrase “He led me back and forth.” “He led me back and forth among them, and I saw a great many bones on the floor of the valley, bones that were very dry.” Sometimes God intends for us to spend time in the valley. It is often in the valley where we find ourselves learning to look up and trust His leading.

Ezekiel saw everything in the valley. Nothing was hidden from him. And he saw that the bones in the valley were very dry. They had been there awhile, sitting and rotting. There was no mistake that they were dead. When we ignore and bury our hurts, that is exactly what happens to them. They sit and rot and a piece of our soul dies with each hurt we bury.

The Lord asked Ezekiel if it was possible for the bones to live. Can you imagine what would have gone through your mind had you been in Ezekiel’s position? I think my response would weigh in on the practical side and I would say, “Of course not. The bones are dry and dead.” But not Ezekiel. He shows us the true essence of faith. “Lord, you alone know.” He was in the middle of a valley of bones, yet his faith was not shaken. He knew that even under those unlikely conditions, God was still the Master, still on the throne, still in control. Doesn’t that give you confidence? God knows all things, so we don’t have to know. We just have to have faith. Ezekiel did not allow his faith to be shaken. Instead he relied on what he knew to be true about the Lord. He trusted in His sovereignty. He trusted in His plan.

Read Ezekiel 37:5. What promise did the Lord make?

“This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: ‘I will make breath enter you and you will come to life.’” The Lord said, “I will.” That is a promise from the Lord because the Lord always does what He says He is going to do. Anyplace you see the words ‘I will’ coming from the Lord in the Bible, you are reading a promise. The promise was amazing: I promise to come to you and breathe new life into your old, dried up bones. In the midst of our darkness, He promises to come and breathe new life into us. New life! He doesn’t just regenerate the old life. He doesn’t put on a bandage or do plastic surgery. He breathes brand new life into our tired, lonely, dried up places. And that, my friend, is sweet freedom.

In my own journey, God used a series of tragedies to bring me to the center of the valley, and He intended for me to spend some time there. He wanted me to see all of the parts and pieces of my life, good and bad. My past and my hurts are an important part of who I am and God’s plan for my life. He wanted to unite them all and make me whole. He wanted me to experience a new life He had waiting for me. And do you know what I found in this wonderful new life He had waiting for me? Freedom that I did not even know existed!