Life Stages
Several times throughout a person’s lifetime a milestone is passed that signifies a change into a new stage in life. For example, when you turn 21, you become an “adult,” whatever that means. When you turn 30, it’s time to settle down. At 50, you recognize that you are becoming wiser every year. There’s no doubt that you are past your prime physically, but you are still accumulating a significant store of wisdom from your life experiences and that process is continuing upward.
But it’s not just birthdays that signify progression to a new stage in life. Graduation. A first full-time job. A first promotion. Forming a family. Losing a parent…
Whenever one of these transitions occurs, it’s normal to reflect on how your life is changing. For example, when I turned 50, I remember thinking that I really didn’t feel like I thought 50-year-olds felt. I remember thinking, how should I act now that I’m 50. The 17th century French writer Francois de la Rochefoucault put it this way, “We come fresh to the different stages of life, and in each of them we are quite inexperienced, no matter how old we are.”
So why am I reflecting on life stages? I’m 63 years old, and I went shopping for a new bicycle last week. The young man who helped me at the Budget Bicycle Center in Madison treated me very respectfully. He didn’t laugh at me or treat me condescendingly when I asked very elementary questions, like why is a $550 bike from his shop better than a $279 bike from Farm & Fleet? I was clearly out of my comfort zone, surrounded by 2,000 bicycles and half a dozen young men who were very much in love with the sport of biking. I was looking for a cheap, basic bike that I could ride the mile back and forth between Whispering Winds and our condo. Nothing fancy. Simple transportation that would be a healthy alternative to driving my car, and faster than walking.
Much to my surprise, I ended up buying a 3-wheeler – a tricycle! I still can hardly admit that I’m one of those old people who ride those cute but clunky things. I’m calling it my “mini-truck” because it has a large basket between the two wheels in the back. I’m rationalizing getting the trike as an environmentally friendlier means of carrying things back and forth between the condo and the farm. It’s also good exercise for me. But, it’s making me think about this next stage in my life, the stage where I am a rider of a 3-wheeler.
The trike is fun to ride. People look at me a little funny. I guess some of them are as surprised as I am that I’ve moved on to this next stage in my life. But, you should see all the stuff I can pack into the back basket! I guess I see myself more as a responsible driver of a mini-truck than as a rider of an adult tricycle.
One more transition down… And my store of wisdom is still growing…
“I Saw Jesus”
Early one morning I walked by Emma’s room on my way to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. I heard Emma talking, so I stepped inside her room to be sure she was okay. Emma is one of our two assisted living residents. She is 91, has dementia, and is quite frail, but she usually has a very cheerful disposition. We have cared for her in our home for more than three years.
Emma was lying in bed. Her eyes were wide open. I asked her if she was feeling okay, or if she needed anything. She looked at me and said very clearly, “I saw Jesus!”
I thought I had heard her right, but to be sure, I asked her, “Did you say you saw Jesus?”
“Yes,” she responded. “I saw Jesus.”
“Did he know you?” I asked.
“Yes.” Then the moment of clarity had passed. She continued to say words, but I couldn’t understand what she was trying to tell me. She looked very happy and was quite excited as she continued to talk.
For the past ten years, my partner, Mim, and I have been providing assisted living services in our home. We usually have two residents living with us. All twenty of the residents who have lived with us thus far have been quite frail, and many of them have had some degree of dementia. Most have come to live with us until they are ready to pass on to their next life. One resident lived with us for only a day before she passed on. Another resident lived with us almost four years. Most live a year or two.
Mim and I have learned that it is quite common for our residents to see visitors from heaven when they get closer to the end of their lives. The visitors may be angels, friends and family members who have preceded them in death, and now Jesus himself.
Unfortunately, Mim and I don’t get to see these visitors. Only the resident can see them, and the resident has always been very comforted by the visit. The visitors seem to come here to alleviate any fears our residents may have about moving on to the other side.
My conversation with Emma last week brought to mind the song, “I’ve Just Seen Jesus” (words by Gloria Gaither, music by William J. Gaither and Danny Daniels). A few of the words are:
I’ve just seen Jesus
And I’ll never be the same again.
That prompted me to think about how music helps us both understand and express what we’ve learned about God’s love through our life experiences. As we think about some of our favorite hymns and gospel songs and remember some of our own personal experiences, we may be able to say along with Emma, “I saw Jesus,” or at least be able to say, “I understand more about God’s love now than I did before, and I’ll never be the same again.”