The Beating of My Hearts
A tale of two hearts: Their disease, their treatment, and their cure
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During these long days sitting around the house, I began journaling. I knew it could be used as a tool to help provide healing during trial and hardship and it also had been recommended to me by a physician friend who had used the technique while dealing with her own battle with cancer. I am so thankful for her recommendation. Journaling is like sitting on a psychiatrist’s couch sharing your deepest thoughts and fears, but when the content of the conversation is directed heavenward, then the “Psychiatrist” takes on a whole new appearance and His “medical degree” originates from the “most prestigious institution” in the universe. I knew chronic stressful illnesses could affect one’s psyche and I needed to help myself out as much as possible, but I had no idea how helpful journaling would be and what would be revealed. Frequently, I penned my thoughts, concerns, memories and discoveries while traveling along my newfound path. Always documenting each bend in the road. My thoughts were many and they needed filtering through a sieve I could trust, for I desperately wanted to make sense of all this mess.
I am thankful I serve a God of order who doesn’t want me to be confused or wandering aimlessly. He desires my attention and presence. He doesn’t want me to be lost, but He also doesn’t mind being patient as he leads me ever so gently back. Well, here I was, sitting around the house all day with nothing to do. “Hey God, let’s have a conversation.”
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About the Book
Taking his heartbeats for granted, Brian L. Fowler, MD, never thought he would lose any of his own. But on October 14, 2009, he discovers his beats are being stolen one by one. The culprit? A rare inflammatory disease called cardiac sarcoidosis, which results in deep, penetrating scars that trigger unpredictable life-threatening arrhythmias.
Dr Fowler, an emergency medicine specialist, understands the deadly potential of each arrhythmia. His fear of death reveals an additional and more insidious heart disease, which is undetectable by PET scan or EKG, for its affected heart rests deeply hidden where anguish and delight coexist. Like his physical heart, his spiritual heart is weary, scarred, and beats chaotically. The two diseased hearts need diagnosis, treatment, and healing. Frustrated, scared, and armed with a physician’s knowledge, a patient’s suffering, and a believer’s doubt, he begins a fascinating journey to discover the real reason for The Beating of My Hearts.
“With transparency, vulnerability, and honesty, Brian allows us to look in on his profound disorientation, hear his questions, follow his search for meaning, and ultimately discover a fresh orientation to the life that was in him all along. I found myself walking closely and attentively with him on his journey. This was well worth the read.” J. Michael Godfrey, DMin, PhD, PCC Coach, Mentor, Speaker, Consultant www.discoveryourtruecourse.com
About the Author
Brian Fowler, MD, is a native Texan. He is board certified in emergency medicine and has treated more than one hundred thousand patients. After serving eight years in the United States Navy, he settled with his wife, Cindy, and their two children, Morgen and Wil, in the beautiful Texas Hill Country. He is cofounder of The Geneva School of Boerne and co-owner of the Urgent Care and Occupational Health Centers of Texas, PA.
Though a Christian since the age of seventeen, Dr. Fowler’s battle with cardiac sarcoidosis was the catalyst to rediscovering his relationship with Christ—a union he knew and feared had been compromised for many years. He now acknowledges Christ every morning before letting his feet touch the floor. Dependence on his spiritual pacemaker never ceases.