“We need not think alike to love alike.”
—Francis David
Sometimes we just disagree. The source of our stance can be our own experiences, upbringing, passions or wiring but simply put, each of us is different. Learning how to love the differences and not make them feel threatening or forced on us. For some reason, there is this fear that if I listen to someone who shares something I disagree with that I am somehow compromising my stance. This is the primary thought I’d like to challenge in this book. I want to explore how to have authentic hard conversations or sometimes silence, depending on the topic with those we love. How to navigate the areas that don’t align with our beliefs.
The title itself is the summary of this book. Most of us are familiar with black and white scenarios. It is the gray that itself lends to an unfamiliarity and opportunity to deepen our relationships. Let’s say I agree with 100% of my entire circle, this is fairly black and white. First, this is make believe because we know no one is the exact same. Anyhow let’s continue on with this exercise. There is nothing for us to navigate through or deepen our relationship in, if we are always in agreement. What is more likely is that we have figured out which topics to avoid because we don’t know yet how to navigate the gray areas in our relationship.
For the most part, we speak very little about our heart issues. For all that technology has done to connect the world, our heart talks and authentic relationships have reduced instead of deepened. Individuals feel more isolated today than they did before they could log-on and be instantly connected to the world. Whether you walk down the street in a small town where everyone knows your name or in a large city with the masses, few know your heart, demons, and what keeps you up late at night. I’m not sure why this is but I set off to explore it in this book.
There are hopefully a few individuals in your circle who you have allowed to talk deeply with about some of the most controversial topics in your life. These individuals have earned that right through relationship. They have been safe, trusted confidantes with some of the most delicate parts of us. They have listened without judgement, they have focused on being there for you. This presence has been the priority, more than agreeing with you.
Part is primarily focused on navigating the gray in your life at home. However, the large majority of us work outside the home as well, so I’ve included a part two. Part two focuses on how to lead your life well in a work environment. I firmly believe that you are the leader of your own life, actions, words, decisions, behaviors and attitude.
Similarly to how you can’t tell a team to trust or respect you and it just happens. Love and relationships whether at home or work don’t just happen either. The focus of this book is learning how to love well even when we disagree and work well even in tough circumstances.
Let’s roll-up our sleeves, and most importantly perk up our ears and hearts.