Don't Panic, It's Only Brain Surgery!

Throughout my journey into the world of tumors and brain surgery, and all of the scary things that accompany such a difficult diagnosis, I have struggled with the devastating fear of the unknown. At times, I became overwhelmed with a panic so real, and so disabling I thought it could overtake me. I had gone through struggles with anxiety before, but never experienced panic so real and overwhelming. There were even times that I felt so defeated I thought I would never make it through the battle. I traveled a long road to recovery and it was hard. Starting with the basics, I had to relearn the simplest of tasks. It was everything that I always did so easily yet took for granted. That, in itself, was draining both physically and mentally.
You may be asking at this point… Who am I and why am I sharing my story? I am sharing my story because I know that there are so many out there who are struggling and trying to get through a tough time. If any of the things I have learned can help someone else as they try to navigate through stormy waters, or struggle with an anxious heart, then I feel the Lord has used my situation for His glory and it is worth all I have been through. I cannot tell you how comforting it was after my diagnosis for me to hear from others who had endured similar circumstances. I want to be that comfort to someone else, as well.
I have not had an easy time these past few years, and as I write it down, I start to remember some of the lowest chapters in my life I feel I should share. It is my prayer that through this book you will be encouraged and see that there is victory in Christ Jesus no matter what you are going through. My story is not a sad one by any means. It is very important for me to share the struggles, but even more than that, I must share the blessings. Because no matter what you are going through in your life, God can and will work it out for His glory. I want to encourage you through my story of victory, not sadness.
As I talk about these things, I am reminded of a program I heard so many years ago that really made an impact on me and my ministry.
I sat in an audience of about 1500 women who were looking to be inspired. We waited eagerly to listen to a woman who would be sharing encouragement, JOY and peace at Christmas time.
This was at a time in my life when I could really have used some encouragement and certainly needed the JOY. I could not wait to hear her advice on how we could live a better life and enjoy all of the good things that come from Christ. As the program started, the speaker shared a sad story that made everyone cry. I thought to myself as a speaker: wow, she really knows how to engage an audience. Then another horribly sad story was told, and another, and still another.
Finally, we were nearing the end of the program and I must say, I was so disappointed. I had used up all of the tissues in my bag and I must have looked like a blubbering mess. Her sad stories left me more discouraged than ever. I felt so bad for this poor woman. Surely, the program wasn’t over. She had to have something more to share! Something beautiful? Something good? I really needed that happily ever after moment. After all, the program was supposed to be on joy… Where was the JOY? Where was the VICTORY?
I came to be inspired, but I was leaving empty and even more drained than when I arrived. Thinking of this experience made me more determined than ever to show all aspects of my recovery, but mostly to highlight how the Lord has brought me through it. That is the story we need to hear and the message we need to know. The hard truth is, God may not deliver us from our trials, but I can say for certain that He will always walk right alongside us to help us through it. God is faithful and even when there is no miracle in this life, we can rest assured that He is still God and we can still walk in victory.
The purpose of this book is not to focus on my brain tumors, the surgery, or the panic I experienced; it is to show how God took me from PANIC to PEACE and how He can do the same for you. It was not an easy road, and I did not always take the right path, but I did experience victories throughout my recovery.
Sharing the victories does not mean there were no struggles. I will share those struggles and how God helped me through them. He showed me, through His Word and through others, that in the midst of any storm we can claim His peace that passes all understanding. God ALWAYS has a plan and will show us how to be resilient in any situation. It is so comforting to know His plans are perfect and His Joy is the prescription for all that ails us. I want us to remember: it doesn’t matter what we are going through, we can give it to Him!
In the following chapters, I will share how I leaned on the joy of the Lord, even when I was overwhelmed with an anxious heart. In my story, I changed the way I was seeing my circumstances and told myself over and over again… DON’T Panic, It’s Only Brain Surgery!