Thank You, God, for Everything—Especially Horses

A few years ago, I organized a 4-H club called Naturally SAVVY in York County, South Carolina. This was a new club of horse-loving girls, and what a joy it was to be included in their lives! Several of the girls were unconfident in their horsemanship, and I knew we needed that important element called time. We decided to meet for a horsemanship camp during Christmas break from school. Camp would require about thirty-two hours together, sleeping at the barn, playing with horses, watching horse movies, and eating delicious food prepared by the parents. For several of the club members this would be the very first time I met their horses. How exciting!

As they arrived at the facility, both horses and girls seemed anxious, and this created quite a bit of nervous energy in the barn. Even my confident Morgan mare, Melody, was unsettled in this new environment. When I asked her to enter the strange stall, she hesitated. It was a perfect time to demonstrate the importance of knowing what she needed in the moment, and she needed time. I could have insisted she enter the stall, but I knew if I didn't address what she needed at that moment, our time together at camp would be ruined. I would fall a few steps down the "trust ladder" by not helping her be comfortable and confident first. Instead, when I asked her to enter the stall, I accepted the slightest try. She put her nose into the stall, and I allowed her to back out again. After each attempt, I rewarded her try with a rub on the neck and asked her to try again. Asked, waited, rewarded. Step by step she entered the stall, and when she asked, I allowed her to back out again. After repeating this several times, she relaxed and entered the stall calmly, and more importantly, chose to stay inside. I didn't shut the door until she was interested in eating her hay and looked comfortable in this new environment. I only needed to spend a few extra minutes to get huge results.

It would have been easy for me to think, "Why is she afraid? She has traveled with me extensively, and has been in a lot of different stalls, in a lot of different barns. This is silly. What is so scary about this particular stall?" Well, that would be me, the human, thinking human thoughts. Her horse thoughts may have been more like this: "I have never been in this place before, and the other horses are afraid so I need to make sure it is safe." Because Melody is a great herd leader, she was feeling the fear and energy from the other horses, and became very alert to potential danger.

The next morning, I had another opportunity to demonstrate leadership. One of my 4-H members asked me to watch her horse circling nervously in the stall. It was obvious that the horse was afraid, and so was his girl, because they were certainly matching each other's energy. As we talked, I realized that my 4-H member was not sure about the camp or my expectations because she didn’t know me well enough to trust my ideas. We discussed expectations and setting a goal. We decided that a great goal for the camp would be: calmly leading her horse from his stall to the covered arena, playing with ground skills with other horses also in the arena, then walking her horse confidently back to his stall. We agreed she would take her time with each step and protect both her and her horse's confidence. There was no mention of riding.

After our discussion she seemed much calmer and so did her beautiful horse. She realized I was not going to force her to do anything she was not ready to try, and that I understood the importance of building confidence step by step. When her confidence returned, her horse became more confident. When her confidence returned, she was ready to provide the leadership her horse needed. With a leader he could trust, he became a willing participant in her plan.

Five girls attended camp and four of them didn't have the confidence needed to ride safely. My co-leader, Stephanie, and I took away the pressure and provided the leadership they needed to grow, and they did the rest. At the end of the camp, all five girls performed a drill pattern on horseback for their parents. It was one of the most humbling experiences of my life because I had the privilege of being a participant in this process. I will always remember watching unconfident girls turn into confident leaders, and fearful horses turn into partners. When I get discouraged, I remember the Christmas Camp of 2011 and my enthusiasm is restored. I hope they always remember, too.

Just as the girls learned how to strengthen the relationship with their horses during Christmas camp, our relationship with God is often restored at Christmas. Christmas is the time we celebrate our Savior's birth, and it is also a time for celebrating the love and assurance He brings into our lives. I wonder if God loves watching His children grow in faith when they receive His gift as much as I loved watching my young ladies of 4-H during our Christmas Camp. I am sure He does.

My experience with the 4-H club during camp taught me the value of being appropriate in every situation. It didn't matter what goals Stephanie and I set for our camp, it was more important that we allowed each club member to proceed as she was ready, without force or fear of failing. In doing so, we were rewarded with their trust and the joy of watching their confidence soar.

I believe it is important to recognize that inappropriate behavior is abuse. It may be in the form of unrealistic expectations, impatience, poor communication, or any number of character flaws. It may not be intentional or done out of malice, but if it damages trust or demeans confidence it is hurtful. Horses don't understand inappropriate behavior, and I don't think humans understand inappropriate behavior, either. It destroys relationships.

Horses are gracious, and in their graciousness they will forgive. Humans have a little more difficulty with the concepts of forgiving and forgetting, but we can learn. It is important to be responsible for all of our actions. Be kind, encouraging, patient, and forgiving. God teaches appropriate behavior and actions toward everyone we meet, and He also expects us to be appropriate with all of His creatures. Follow God's example of love. It may take some practice, but it will be good.

As you groom, ride, or just spend time with your horse, can you read his body language? Can you tell when he is afraid or just a little unsure about a situation? Can you see when he is calm, tired, or hungry? Hungry is probably very easy, at least with most horses. Can you read horse behavior in every situation and then be appropriate in what you ask? Horses constantly read our body language, and we need to pay attention and learn their body language, as well. If our goal is to have relationships with our horses based on trust and respect, it helps to pay attention and know what our horses are thinking before we ask them to perform a task. It is much safer, also. If we allow ourselves to have a relationship with God, it will always be good and always appropriate. He sent His son, Jesus, to the cross without sin to carry our heavy load. We love to celebrate the gift of a Savior at Christmas, but it would be wonderful if we celebrated this gift every day. God cares. He will never abuse our trust. Dedicating our lives to finding a better relationship with our God is always an appropriate path.

Horses have excellent memories, but also an amazing ability to forgive. We have pretty good memories, but we must be taught true forgiveness. Hearts that harbor hate will never have much room for love, and without love how can we be appropriate? Love is always appropriate.