The Commandments in the Book of Matthew:
Commandment #17. Matthew 5:31-32: NKJV: Furthermore it has been said, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.' 32. But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.
See Luke 16:18.
The TNSB commentary says, "Sexual immorality is a general term that includes premarital sex, extramarital infidelity, homosexuality, and bestiality.
Also see Matthew 19:3–12.
This is a very controversial and hard subject. We have hundreds and hundreds of divorced and remarried people in the churches and in ministry in the churches. Every denomination has their own policies about this subject.
Luke 16:18: NKJV: (a) Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery; (b) and whoever marries her who is divorced from [her] husband commits adultery.
My friend, Samuel Peak of Biblical Faith Ministries explains it this way:
The first part of this verse (a) translates back into the Hebrew perfectly. The second part (b) does not. He explains that in part A, there is a "vav of purpose." Vav is the sixth letter of the Hebrew aleph-bet. It can stand for and, but, or, so, then, because, therefore, namely, since, while, on the contrary, etc. This vav tells us the purpose of what is going on. The vav used in this verse means "in order to" marry another. Whoever divorces his wife "in order to marry another" commits adultery. He explains that this could also mean "Whoever divorces her husband." In the Jewish law, a man can divorce his wife over any petty thing, like burning the toast. Here in our example, a wife could deliberately burn the toast, etc., "in order to marry another."
The Delitzsch Hebrew Gospels, a Hebrew/English translation, in the footnotes for Luke 16:18 says, "Or, "sends away his wife in order to marry." In other words, he causes his wife to commit adultery or she causes her husband to commit adultery.
Part B of our verse, Luke 16:18b: If the husband has set her up, she is free from this obligation not to marry and may marry. This is committing fraud.
In Mark 10:1-12 (NKJV) we see this same question from one of the pharisees, "Is a man able to send away his wife?" Yeshua tells them, (verse 6): "Because of the hardness of your heart, he wrote this commandment for you (Moses). But from the beginning of creation, God created them male and female. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and cling to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. If so, they are not two any longer, but one flesh. Thus, what God has joined, a person shall not divide."
If you are a believer and have divorced your spouse and have remarried, don't let satan condemn you. That's his job. Just ask the Lord to forgive you, repent of any sin you may have committed causing this divorce, then go on with your life. No one among us can cast the first stone, I guarantee it! If you haven't remarried and your ex-spouse hasn't remarried, don't even think of remarrying him/her.
Malachi 2:14: NKJV: Yet you say, "For what reason?" Because the LORD has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant.
If you are married, you are bound before God in that relationship. If you are being abused, your spouse has broken your covenant. You are not expected to stay in that marriage. If he/she is committing adultery, you have a legal right to divorce.
The discussion continues in the next two verses:
Malachi 2:15-16: NKJV: But did He not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. 16. For the LORD God of Israel says that He hates divorce, for it covers one's garment with violence," says the LORD of hosts. "Therefore take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously."
Treacherously: Used twice here means to act covertly, fraudulently, perfidiously. Hiding is often applied to covertly and perfidious – treacherous.
To sum up, there are only three things that biblically release a marriage partner from a marriage: (1) the death of one marriage partner; (2) breaking the covenant through sexual unfaithfulness or acts that would void the contract, such as abuse; and (3) the desertion and divorce by an unbelieving marriage partner as told in the Christian Torah. That is the plain teaching of Scripture.
Deuteronomy 24:4: NKJV: Then her former husband who divorced her must not take her back to be his wife after she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before the LORD, and you shall not bring sin on the land which the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance.
Here we have what the Torah says about remarrying an ex-spouse. Although this is in the Sinaitic Covenant, the principle seems to me to be also pertaining to us as believers. It says if you're married and divorce your wife, don't take her back if she has been with another man. I'd say vice versa. That is considered "defiled." If we don't take this principle as pertaining to us, it opens the door for a lot of defilement in the church. It defiles the home, the children, our families. God looks at the union of a husband and wife as sacred, a gift given to them. If we neglect that gift and take it as just a suggestion, it opens up a lot of excuses for sin in our lives. The bottom line is, how much do we want to live for the Lord? How much of our lives do we give to Him? All, half, two-thirds? If we truly are born again, spirit filled, we need to give him ALL our lives and give up any wants in our life that aren't pleasing to Him.
You have to work out your own salvation in this one. Many people are married to someone they thought they loved and after a while realize they don't and want out. I'm the merciful person. I would tell you "leave him." But I'm sure not God. Pray a lot, talk to your pastor or a counselor, and then you decide which road to take.
To you who are not married, heed this. Make sure you love that person and are compatible and want to spend the rest of your life with them. Don't rush into it. Spend a couple years getting to know them, then weigh the pros and cons and see what you believe you can live with and what you can't. If you know there's one thing that's going to drive you crazy for the next 50-70 years of marriage, don't marry him. Both of you go to a believing marriage counselor before you marry. Many churches require it now and have some excellent counselors. If you don't click with that one, ask for another one. But be sure you are going into this marriage with eyes way wide open.
If a little voice whispers in the back of your mind in a flash, heed it. Don't marry him/her if there are any doubts at all. Write these doubts down. Write the pros down. Compare them. Make yourself look at the reality of it all. Don't lie to yourself and think you can change him/her or that you can live with this one thing. Get it out in the open. Pray a lot.