XOXO from Dad

XOXO from dad

Words Too Seldom Spoken.

A Father’s Love for His Daughter

By Lyle Bunn (Ph.D. Hon.)

After the initial joy of seeing that beautiful face the next emotion that the new father feels is terror. He wonders how he will ever stand to the test of fatherhood, how he will ever be able to provide the needs of this child, teenager and woman as she moves through life. This awe of fatherhood never ceases. Nothing is more confounding or challenging to a man.

The entirety of awe, of challenge, of a deep sense of responsibility coupled with an incredible sense of incapability is more humbling than anything else on earth. The immediate task in the mind of a new father is to grasp and to step up to this new challenge.

Dads speak a different language than women and it is not uncommon for men to have a hard time expressing their affections. So much of what dads say sounds absolute, because this is what is expected of men and how they succeed in the workplace. It is very hard to turn this off when I come through the front door or when we talk by phone or email. Dispensing counsel is how I talk. It is my language of love.

Fathers see themselves as “guides” in your life journey. We want to point out items of interest, put history into context and point to the path that we think will best serve you. We want you to have the benefit of the upper balcony view of life that experience has granted us.

With each working hour and time spent away from you, my heart yearned for your presence and the anticipation of sharing an experience with you.

Separation or divorce is a torture of separation from you. No beautiful view, laugh or new encounter is without you, as I carried you in my heart. My view of the world and the people I encounter is seen through the lens of “I wish you were here”.

Dads see their role as “to serve and protect”. The need to provide resources too often takes precedence over immediate pleasures in being with you in the interest of your better future. Travel and long work hours are motivated by this “serve and protect” inclination lest harm or hardship come upon you.

The daughter’s job is simply to “be”. My aspirations for you are your aspirations for you. Each person must learn to hear the beat of their drummer and what triumphant joy I get in seeing you hear and march to the beat of your drummer. My prayers for you are that you will grow in healthy living, intellectually, in wisdom and in faith.

Above all, I wish for you peace. The innermost sense of accord between yourself and the life you lead, along with the confidence that no hardship is insurmountable and the calm of being able to fully appreciate and contribute to whatever situation you find yourself in.

You are God’s gift to the world. To say that you are unique is the understatement of the century. Being a “lady” will smooth your path, open doors wider and assure that your great appeal as a person is fully realized. Being a lady will make you more enchanting and captivating each time that a person is with you.

The world awaits your ever-increasing contributions of time, talent, enquiry and perspective. As this started from the moment you were born, it changes with your growing intellect, wisdom and kindness.

Set your sights on the “farther shore” as your destination and the place you move toward. This will help you to be focused and stay away from distractions. The journey will define who you are. Set your sights on no less than the extraordinary as this has been bestowed on you through the love of God and all who profess love for you and faith in you.

Care deeply, listen carefully, speak clearly and be true to yourself. Listen for and trust that inner voice that is the expression of all you are, and all you are capable of becoming.

Seek to be equally “yoked” with others in your work, play, friendships and work life as each person brings strengths and capabilities to a relationship, with one enjoying the capabilities and accomplishments of the other.

It is painful to see you worry. Feeling concern for the future saps your energy, distorts your focus and takes from your natural vitality to love the life you have. Worry comes from our lack of trust in ourselves or the trust in God’s plan for your life.

Money is part of life. It resources your needs, wants and aspirations, helping to fulfill what can make for a happier life. It also allows you to contribute to others. Six principles for guiding your relationship with money are provided, as fatherly advice. Use money and love people. Don’t confuse the two.

Develop an appreciation for religious services and ceremonies because these offer access by your heart, head and soul to universal truths, and to wisdom. To disregard this is like never visiting a library or online information site or speaking to others.

My hearts desire is that you are fulfilled in your heart’s desire, and it is absolutely certain that your hearts desire will not be met without a connection to a power beyond our humanity.

The future doesn’t have to be what it used to be. I love you and am so impressed by you and want to “serve and protect” you.

Let us make our future together as two people who can make life together as fun, fascinating, wondrous and productive as it can be. Let our relationship with each other be part of our individual and our shared legacy.

The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace.