Current research shows that 1 in 3 marriages in the United States will end in divorce. This is irrespective of whether it is a Christian marriage or not. 1/3 of all children in America will be born to a single mother; 50% of all first, 68% of all second, and 70% of all third marriages will end in divorce. 850,000 children are born out of wedlock in the U.S. each year. Statisticians predict that ninety-five percent of all divorced, widowed or otherwise single persons will eventually remarry. This isn’t a negative confession, but the truth is blended families will be around for some time to come.
Ecclesiastes states it well that, “…there is nothing new under the sun…” Blended families are not a new concept. Jacob had twelve children by two different women as is narrated in Genesis 35:22-26. I’d say that was certainly a blended family. Moses was a part of a blended family as is told in Exodus 2:10; Esther was a part of a blended family as is referenced in Esther 2:5; and even Jesus was a part of a blended family as is seen in Luke 2:41-48. Though the existence of the blended family is a stark reality in our society, the Church is almost silent when it comes to addressing the unique marriage and parenting challenges that the blended family may face. One reason I believe the church is quiet, is because we would then have to admit to the fact that divorce is happening in our churches in epidemic proportions, and it’s happening from the pulpit to the pews.
Malachi 2:16 tells us in no uncertain terms, “For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away…” God hated divorce then, and He still hates divorce now. But, I believe that Jesus gave us more insight into the matter in Matthew 19:8 when He said, “Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.” Gary Thomas said it well, “People don’t fall out of love; they fall out of forgiveness.” Where ever there is pride and an unwillingness to forgive, the end result will be separation, tearing away, and falling apart. The hardness of one’s heart…PRIDE…is what drives a wedge that is often irreparable. Proverbs 13:13 tells us, “Only by pride cometh contention…” Both my husband and I have experienced failed marriages so we know and understand well the pain associated with tearing away and falling apart. We both had to admit and come face-to-face with the pride and unforgiveness that drove us from our first commitments, before we could truly experience the success in marriage and in our family that we now enjoy.
One thing I love about God is that He is always in the restoration business. We may make decisions that cause us to experience brokenness in one way or another, but He is always working with and for us to put things back together again. God knew that our lives wouldn’t always measure up to His ideals, yet He made provision for us. Psalm 68:6 tells us that it is God who sets the solitary into families.
God is not the author of divorce or the perpetuator of loss but, I believe blended families can be purposely, and strategically formed by God. When He is finished building the house, every gift, every talent, every personality, strength, and weakness of each family member can be used to give Him glory where the enemy intended for destruction.
The Perfect Blend Devotional offers biblical insight for the blended family. If you are not a Christian, I invite you to receive Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior. Following His way is the only thing that will guarantee you the help you need to make your new family a success.
I trust that The Perfect Blend Devotional will encourage you, enlighten you, and motivate you! You may have failed in your first marriage…I did. But, I found out that failure was not my final outcome. God had another plan for me and my children. And, just like everything that God does, this too is GOOD!