The Many Facets of a Woman

There is a scene in the middle of the movie 27 Dresses when the two sisters are finally having it out. They are each saying all the things that she believed the other woman thought of her all their lives. At the beginning of the fight they are yelling out these comments and then, as the absurdity of what one sister is saying to the other becomes evident, they begin to calm down. The conversation takes a more honest and personal turn. The older, more stable, sister sees her younger, freer sister as happier and luckier. The younger sister sees her settled sister’s life as the life she would like to have. Near the end of this revealing conversation the younger sister says, “I was trying to be you.” And the older sister responds with “Why? Why would you want to be me, when you get to be you?” 
This is the cry of all women. We look at other women and think I just want to have her body or I just want to have her ease in the middle of a crowd. We struggle to be satisfied with what we have and, more importantly, who we are as women. 
How can this deep-rooted habit of wishing to be someone else be flipped around to be a positive help instead of detrimental disease? Mentoring. Choose a mentor, be a mentor, invade women’s lives to learn from them and grow. Find the traits that you have always longed for and discover that you have something to offer as well. We as women have so many facets. We are multi-dimensional. I set out to learn as much as I could from very specific women. Sometimes a relationship was thrust upon me, often I requested it. 
Having a woman mentor can help you see things about yourself that you did not even know were there. Mentoring creates a space to be not-okay and to examine why you are heading down a particular path. The truths and characteristics that you can learn from another woman are invaluable. For many years I thought I was the one taking. I had no idea I was also giving in these friendships. These women had much more experience and life understanding than I thought I ever would have. But as the years have gone by, I see that being part of a mentorship is not a taking but a sharing: a sharing of lives, a sharing of failures, and a sharing of hope. Hope of becoming a more authentic, lovelier, stronger woman than I was before the friendship began. 
Many women have been hurt by female friendships and thus retreat, choosing not to be vulnerable to other women in the future. Those hurts are real and painful, and f you have been hurt you are not alone, but I hope you will think about finding a mentor. God designed women to need each other, to talk together, to smile together, to realize we are not alone in our struggles and our fears. But mostly we need to cry and laugh together. Often in my loneliest times it was the women in my life that brought me healing, hope and a safe place to lay my burdens. If you are a woman who has been hurt by other women, I am sorry. But the world is filled with countless other women and many of them could be a healing balm to your wounded soul. I hope that after reading about the lovely women in my life you will be brave and try one more time. You will find the blessed peace in having a friend that you can call in the middle of the night to cry with, or stop by her house or workplace in the middle of the day to tell her that you got the job or that you are getting married or that you finally found the right sweater on sale and bought it. 
The women in my life have made me who I am today. I do not know where I would be without them. After years of having mentors and being a mentor, I can almost immediately tell when I have met a friend for life. Because I value my friendships so much, I will be changing the names of these women and the places where we met. I hope that as they read this book they will recognize themselves. I want to share the intimacy of our friendships but not their private lives. They have trusted me with their stories and their hearts, and I want to honor that. I have chosen names that make for great alliterations. One of my hopes is that you will go along, recognizing whom these women represent in your own life. 

A woman has many facets. Facet is derived from a French word, facette, which means face. The many faces of a woman. We were designed as multi-dimensional beings. Remember Mary: God knew she needed a companion, a woman to accompany her through the interesting process of becoming a mother. The fact that he chose a woman beyond child-bearing years to be that companion is lovely. Elizabeth already had much life experience that she could share with Mary. Elizabeth had probably discovered many of her own different facets, yet now here was a new one: motherhood, which she had longed for for a very long time. I find it fascinating that the angel encouraged Mary to go to Elizabeth. They were so different. Their lives were dissimilar, yet they found comfort in each other. They each found comfort where she was in life. 
As I take you through the different mentoring relationships that have shaped me and formed me into the woman I am today, I would ask you to think about several things. Have you had a friendship like this one? Did you view yourself on the receiving end or on the giving end? As your life changes and evolves, have your friendships evolved as well? Have you made it a point to make any new friends this year? 
The most important question of all: Is mentoring truly an extraordinary experience? Let’s read and find out.