I Left My Prostate in San Francisco—Where's Yours?
Coping with the Emotional, Relational, Sexual, and Spiritual Aspects of Prostate Cancer
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Chapter 5 Sharing The News
Deciding who, when, where and how to share the news of my prostate cancer was not an easy task. There are no guidelines or protocol for doing this. When I first shared the news with other people, I had no idea what to expect. Obviously most people were as shocked as I was.
What images come to your mind when you think of someone with cancer? Maybe you think of someone who lost all of his or her hair. I’ve been bald for 20 years now. Maybe you think of someone who is severely underweight. I’m carrying at least 20 lbs. more than I should be, mostly around the middle. Maybe you think of someone with cancer as someone who moves slowly with an obvious lack of energy. I’m from New York. I do everything quickly. If I had to drive to my own execution, I’d be the left lane, passing everyone in order to get there as soon as possible. I was still capable of living at that speed. So the fact is I didn’t look or feel like someone who had cancer. That’s what made the news so unbelievable to me, and often to those I told.
The people who had the most intense reactions were as a general rule those who had a friend or family member who were diagnosed with cancer. For example, after I told someone I had prostate cancer the first words back to me were “ I’m so sorry, my father died of prostate cancer.”
I expected to share the news and immediately receive comforting words back. Instead I felt more anxious and afraid. After a number of these experiences, I had to take a break from telling people the news face to face.
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About the Book
Rick and Brenda’s lives were changed forever when Rick went to the doctor to get a prescription refill. The doctor unexpectedly decided to perform a prostate exam. When he did, he felt a suspicious lump. Weeks later, a biopsy confirmed that Rick had prostate cancer. As a couple, they found their lives changed in unexpected ways following robotic surgery. They decided to share an intimate glimpse into their lives after surgery so other couples would be more prepared than they were. If you are thinking about surgery, or if you just had surgery, you will want to read about their experiences and the life lessons they learned along the way.
About the Author
Rick Redner received his master’s degree in social work at Michigan State University. For two years, he worked as a medical social worker. For the last thirty years, he’s been self-employed. He currently owns and operates two Sandwich Shops in Modesto, California. He was diagnosed with prostate cancer when he was fifty-eight years old. If you wish to contact him, you can send an e-mail to whereisyourprostate@gmail.com.
Brenda Redner received her RN/BSN at Michigan State University. She’s worked as an oncology nurse, psychiatric nurse, and teacher. She left nursing in order to home school all four of their children. She was fifty-six when her husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer. If you wish to contact Brenda, you can reach her at mypartnerhaspc@gmail.com.