Balance in Action

The Mind

Remember the old commercial that said, “The mind is a terrible thing to waste.” This commercial was basically saying, don’t fry your brain on drugs. But what if we were to say, don’t fry your brain on negative thinking? Norman Vincent Peale in The Power of Positive Thinking says, “Our happiness depends on the habit of mind we cultivate.” So often, there is a lack of awareness of our actual thoughts. There is an unconscious process in the mind that goes something like this: I’m not smart enough, I’m not good enough, I’m a loser, I’ll never amount to anything, I’ll never be able to achieve that. These thoughts become our own definition of ourselves. Worse yet, maybe there is a feeling of being trapped in shameful thought patterns, hoping that no one will ever find out what goes on in our minds. These thoughts have become so familiar that they have begun to define our very identity.

Sometimes, while relaxing I find that my mind begins to wander. At that moment, I catch myself and ask, what was the thought in my head? It’s surprising to notice that often, those thoughts are negative and self-deprecating. At this point It’s important to ask, why would I think that? Is that thought true? Where is it coming from?

One Sunday at church we had a guest speaker, my good friend Dr. Martin Sanders. He startled the congregation when he said that sometimes people have thoughts that go something like this: you stupid son of a bitch, you are so dumb, you will never amount to anything. “Oh my! He swore in church. How offensive,” some of them thought. What they didn’t know, were the number of people who came up to Dr. Sanders in tears after the service and said, “Were you talking to me? Those are the thoughts that run in my head.” These dear ones had been tortured for many years with old tapes playing in their heads and they didn’t know how to get free.

Why is it important to be self-aware? There are some who feel that even using the word self is selfish. Let me challenge that it’s imperative to know ourselves, to be aware how others see us and to know what is really going on inside our heads.

For instance, if there is cancer inside our bodies and we are unaware of it, it will kill us. There may be a vague sense that something is wrong and doesn’t feel right, but until we pinpoint exactly what it is, our bodies will slowly be consumed by it.

I would like to challenge us to run towards the negative, ugly, violent and shameful thoughts in our heads. This can be a scary place because the uncertainty of the nagging question, what if the thoughts are really true? What If I really am defined by the thoughts i’m thinking? So, we keep suppressing, we keep running, we keep turning away, but the thoughts are still there popping up at the strangest times.

Let me propose a different strategy. Let the thoughts come in all their ugliness and then offer them to Jesus. He is not embarrassed by what you are thinking. Ask Him why they are there and from where they originated. It is only in this brave act of coming to Jesus just as we are, that true freedom and healing can come.

We often have guests over for dinner or dessert. I make sure that the downstairs, kitchen, living room and dining room look great, organized and clean. Upstairs though, can be a very different story. With six children and two large dogs there are usually piles of laundry, closets overflowing with clutter and dirty bathrooms. Wouldn’t it be foolish to leave the upstairs dirty because I chose to ignore it, or refused to ask for help to clean it if needed? Our lives can be like this. We need Jesus to come clean and organize the grime inside us, not hide it or pretend it isn’t there.

We will explore this in bits and pieces throughout this book, but for now, let’s just focus on the awareness piece. What negative thoughts are filling your mind? Pay attention. Bring them to God through prayer, so that He can take them and in return give you freedom.

The body

The body is that very important and often neglected part of the balance we are seeking. Just as we focused on awareness in the mind, let’s take a few minutes to focus on the awareness of what we are eating. So often, we participate in mindless eating, not even aware of what and why we are eating. My dear friend recently said to me, she had to train herself to ask, “Why am I eating this?” Instead of just unconsciously eating a whole container of cookies, she started to stop and say, “What is the reason behind this eating?” Sometimes, she was just eating to numb a wound. Other times it was more about rebellion, or it just felt good to eat the sugar. It wasn’t until she stopped to ask the question and to be honest with herself that she began to gain control over the impulsive behavior.