The marriage between a pastor and his wife is no different from any other marriage that has been ordained by God. There are no special perks from heaven for being married to a pastor. The pastor and his wife have ups and downs too. Yet the pastor and his wife have to continue to be “on point” in order to lead people effectively.
Dear Lord, I understand that a pastor cannot lead a church if his own house is not in order. Be with my pastor and his wife right now. Fix whatever has been broken. Sew together whatever has become unstitched. Bring them back to what brought them together in the first place. Allow them to focus on you and to keep you at the center of the marriage. Cover the marriage. Let no weapons that are formed against them prosper. Be with them. Keep her covered, strong, and faithful unto you. Amen.
Yes! The pastor’s wife needs to be encouraged too. She needs motivation. She needs prayer. She needs to hear words of encouragement: “I wish you the best!”, “You can do it!”, “Don’t get discouraged!”, “Hold on,” “I appreciate you,” “Thank you,” and “Is there anything I can do for you?” Yes. The pastor’s wife needs encouragement too.
Dear Lord, thank you for the pastor’s wife, and thank you for all that she does. She gives of her time and makes so many sacrifices in order to be a help to God’s people. Lift her up as she gets weary along the journey. Continue to keep her eyes steadied on you, which is where her help comes from. Remind her that only what she does for Christ will last. Bless her for being a blessing. Lift her head up when she feels down. Give her a push if she feels stagnant. Change the hearts of those who couldn’t care less. May I be more attentive to her needs. Amen.
The Pastor Is Cheating on Her
Hmm! Pastors are highly sought after by other women. Why? Perhaps it’s the suit and tie, or maybe it’s the position and title. Although there is nothing “cute” about being a pastor, there are women who are on the outside but desire to be on the inside. Unfortunately, some pastors don’t always know how to handle these predators and end up falling short. Note, however, that it takes two to tango.
Dear Lord, I’m praying for my pastor’s wife right now. If she has fallen victim to the nonsense of her husband and another woman,[A1] I pray that you reveal to her what needs to be revealed and that she act accordingly. Lord, you don’t desire divorce, but your Word says adultery is grounds for it.[i] If this is the route she is led to take, please be with her in the process. However, Lord, my desire is that healing and forgiveness take place right now. Don’t allow other people, such as the church members, to cloud her decisions. May she think and act wisely. Lord, allow love to abound right now. Hug her tight right now. For you said in your Word that you would never leave or forsake her.[ii] Amen.
She Just Wants to Be Herself
Pastor’s wives are sometimes deemed as superwomen who are supposed to do what they do. Not so! Let’s start with the fact that her responsibility is to her husband, like in any other godly marriage. She should never be expected to do anything, say anything, be a part of any ministry, or go anywhere just because she is the pastor’s wife. Let her be herself. She has a name other than “the pastor’s wife.”
Dear Lord, forgive me for having so many expectations of what a pastor’s wife should or should not be doing. Forgive me for being in her business and even trying to indirectly dictate her life. At the same time, permit her to find her space and be comfortable in it. Prevent her from falling into diverse temptations and succumbing to the pressures and expectations of church members and traditions. I thank you in advance for a church that will be supportive of her decisions, which are godly and in accordance with your will. Amen.
The Pastor Is Sick
It’s tough on a wife when her husband is sick. The plot thickens when the husband is sick—and he’s the pastor! The wife has to answer to the church, care for the family and for the husband, and in some instances care for the church, if she is acting in the capacity of an associate pastor. Clearly, she has to somehow juggle[A2] demands and fulfill expectations.
Dear Lord, come to the aid of the pastor’s wife right now. In the name of Jesus, order her steps. Strengthen her right now, and remind her that when she is weak, you are strong. Bring her closer to you. Give her wisdom to seek help, as necessary. Take away any pride that is present. Thank you for your keeping power as she handles the responsibilities that come her way. Hold her up. Maintain her stamina as she wards off any germ or disease that is lingering and attempting to latch onto her. Be a fence around her. Amen.
[i] Matthew 19:9 (ESV): “And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
[ii] Hebrews 13:5 (ESV): “Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor in you.”
[A1]Reworded to make clear that the nonsense is on the part of both people, not just the other woman.
[A2]You could use a stronger phrase here. It may feel like a very difficult task to fulfill all expectations.
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About the Book
Your Pastor’s Wife Needs Your Prayers invites you to experience what goes on in the heart, mind, life, and marriage of a pastor’s wife. Most importantly, this book encourages you to pray for your pastor’s wife. Although your pastor’s wife may not need every prayer included in this book, pray for another pastor’s wife who may be in need of the prayer.
About the Author
Ayanna K. Mishoe-Brooker is a prayer warrior, licensed minister, pastor’s wife, an attorney, author and a mother of two. God has gifted her to minister to women, ministers’ wives, pastors’ wives, married couples and young adults.