Just in Time
by
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The Addiction Took My Daddy from Me
For so long, I was angry and bitter with my daddy for not being the father I needed him to be. Life was about choices, right? So, why couldn’t he choose his family? Time and time again, he failed me. I had to take care of him versus him taking care of me which is not how it’s suppose to be, right? I’d see my friends with their fathers, so close and happy. They could depend on their daddy’s to supply all their needs. I didn’t even know what that looked like anymore. It was strange to watch. I longed for that relationship.
What I learned as I grew in the Lord is that what I needed and wanted from my daddy was something that he wasn’t capable of giving or being. His addictions and problems hindered his ability to be the daddy I wanted him to be. He was giving me all he was capable of giving.
Just because “I” was strong enough to fight addictions and “I” would never lose control over my life like he did, didn’t mean that my daddy had that same strength. He didn’t and we, as hopeful humans, think others should have our abilities, our beliefs, our strengths, our goals, etc. But they don’t and we can’t “will” those qualities into someone…no matter how hard we try.
Accepting that and praying for them is all we can do and then, still, change may not come. But I (we) can give it to God! Recognize that we can’t always fix it. God doesn’t want us carrying the burdens alone. He will carry them for us.
Psalm 68:19 Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily, bears our burdens. NIV
My daddy grew up in church. He was taught right from wrong and he believed in God. God resided in his heart but his addictions and demons overtook the majority of the space in his heart and his life. My daddy, alone, wasn’t able…he wasn’t strong enough to move those demons out. So his life was hard, to say the least. He could never crawl out of his dark hole.
There is a direct correlation between how much space God has in your heart and how your life turns out. Don’t get me wrong, people with God in the forefront still have struggles. They still hurt. They still suffer loss. BUT they have God to lean on and carry them through. There is a peace with God.
My daddy didn’t have that peace because God wasn’t in the forefront of his heart. In the end though, WOW! God came to the forefront JUST IN TIME!
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About the Book
Her daddy’s struggle with alcoholism had become her struggle too!
As a young child, Tracy experienced things no child should ever have to experience. She could forgive and forget then, but would her life forever be defined by her daddy’s addiction?
As she grew into a young woman, his behavior, his actions, and his harsh words were not so easily forgiven. The memories were imprinted in her memory forever. Her feelings towards him were nothing less than hatred! As she watched him fall deeper and deeper into the arms of the disease, she began losing hope of ever having a normal daddy.
She knew she couldn’t go on this way. She was trying to do it all alone, but that was never God’s plan. Feeling helpless in her struggle, she found herself wondering, Why me…why me, God?
Finally, Tracy gave it all to God. She realized her way was not God’s way, but was it too late? Would she ever have the relationship with her daddy that she always wanted? Was it even possible to love him again after all the hurt and pain?
Only God knew if her miracle would come…Just in Time!
About the Author
Tracy Morrisey is a first-time author from Greenville, North Carolina. She is a devout Christian, wife, and mother. She has been a registered nurse for nearly twenty years, graduating from East Carolina University. Her mission is to obey God’s calling in her life!