My F-Word Is Forgiveness

CHAPTER 48--THE F-WORD

When my son, Scott, was in pre-school, he came home one day and proudly announced to his mom that “he knew what the F-word was.” Heartbroken at his loss of innocence at such an early age, she asked him what it was. He leaned over and whispered, “French fry.”

That was his second encounter with the “F-word.” At an even earlier age, we were out to lunch with my parents, who were visiting from South Carolina. We were getting hamburgers at Krystal. I love those little square gut-bombs. That's also a term of affection. They were an essential part of middle-of-the-night fare after sneaking out of the dorm in Nashville.

We’ll talk about the importance of Krispy Kreme some other time. Go ahead and admit it; some of you remember when even the boys’ dorms had a curfew.

Anyway, Dad and I were at the counter ordering while Kathy, Scott and Mom waited for us at a table. Scott was sitting beside his Grandma and across from Kathy. He was a very smart little kid and started reading something that had been written on the table. Kathy was listening, but not reading along since the word was upside down for her. Scott pronounced the sound of an F, and then the sound of a U, paused for a moment to figure out the combination letters, and then before Kathy could stop him, he finished with the K sound and proudly shouted out the word. If my mom had false teeth, she surely would have swallowed them. Kathy calmly told Scott, “That was very good reading, but that’s not a word we use.” “No, it’s certainly not,” my mom choked out. Kathy was still laughing when Dad and I made it back to the table.

If you want to shock people, just yell out the F-word, like Scott did, in an inappropriate place. It is interesting that a word could be considered so improper to use that it is given an alias. It’s like “not speaking the name of God.” Well, if you’re not going to speak it, you have to make up a word that people will know means the same thing. Years ago, before people started using “God” or “Jesus” as exclamations, they used “gosh” or “gee-whiz” to vent their frustration.

I love F-words. Often, when I am saying the prayer before a meal, I will thank God for family, food, fellowship and fun. But those really aren’t F-words, are they? They might be little f-words, but they are just words that begin with the letter f. A real F-word is one that people might not want to say out loud or with certain people. It is a word that is charged with such meaning that it can shock.

My F-word is “Forgiveness.” It isn’t used much in everyday language these days or around certain people. It is charged with emotion even if not used in a religious context. Just hearing the word “forgiveness” indicates that someone has done something that they need to be “forgiven” for. Hearing it makes us uncomfortable; gives us the heebie-jeebies.

I think that a part of our hesitation to use the word “forgiveness” is that we all know how hard it is to really forgive someone. Oh, we might “let it go” or try to act “like it never happened,” but that’s not the same as “forgiveness.” Is it? We also know how hard it is to ask for “forgiveness” from someone we’ve hurt or wronged. It is a “humbling” experience. There’s an H-word for you.

If you need to forgive someone, you know what it does to you; you can’t get away from the hurt or anger, and it just festers. That’s a great word to describe it, too, festers. It gets worse and hurts more as time goes on. Forgiveness gets the poison out and allows healing to take place.

It is a different feeling if you’ve done something to someone and need to say, “I’m sorry.” Rather than anger, there is regret and guilt, and you are always trying to avoid them. Asking for forgiveness will end those feelings even if the other person won’t forgive you. It hasn’t healed the relationship, but you’ve done all you can. They become the ones who must deal with it now. Or sometimes you find that they have already forgiven you because they did not want to carry around the hurt. You never knew and you have been living with guilt for no reason. You just needed to receive their forgiveness to heal the relationship, it was there all along.

That’s how it is with God’s forgiveness. He’s already forgiven us through Jesus and all we need to do is accept it. Sounds easy, doesn’t it. It is.

Real “forgiveness” has amazing power. It has the power to restore broken relationships, the power to lift huge feelings of guilt, the power to change life. Whether we need forgiveness from someone else, from God, or from ourselves (there’s a tough one), forgiveness is profound. It brings acceptance and the chance for another F-word, “Freedom.” Freedom gives us a chance to change and to live life in the everyday giving and receiving of “Forgiveness.”

Go ahead, shout it out and shock somebody!