Trust Issues

Chapter 1~Giving God a Chance
Your emptiness is but the preparation for your being filled, and your casting down is but the making ready for your lifting up.
—Charles H. Spurgeon
Rejecting God
Before we become deeply familiar with this shepherd boy turned king, we will do well to consider what preceded our first introduction to David in Scripture.
God chose Moses to lead the nation of Israel out of slavery in Egypt. Through the leadership of Joshua, God brought them into the land He promised their forefathers long ago: Canaan. Once the Israelites were established in the land and Joshua died, God appointed judges to lead them and be His voice to the people (Judges 2:16). In other words, God used the judges as a medium to communicate His will to the nation of Israel.
Fast-forward to Samuel, a prophet who emerged as the last judge (1 Samuel 1:20; 3). Samuel had journeyed with the people for many years, encouraging them to live for the Lord. During the last years of Samuel’s life as judge, the Israelites became covetous over other nations ruled by kings. They lost sight that God was their true King and Judge (1 Samuel 8:7). God faithfully went before them, fighting their battles. However, Scripture tells us in 1 Samuel 8:19–20, “But the people refused to obey the voice of Samuel. And they said, ‘No! But there shall be a king over us, that we also may be like all the nations, and that our king may judge us and go out before us and fight our battles.’” No matter how much Samuel advised the people to trust God not human leadership, the people still rejected God as their king.
Therefore, God appointed Saul as their first king (1 Samuel 9:15–17; 10:17–27). King Saul led the people away from living holy and righteous lives (1 Samuel 13:13; 15). After King Saul fell on his sword (literally) while on the battlefield, God gave the Israelites David, a man after His own heart (1 Samuel 31:4; 2 Samuel 2).
In relating David’s life, the Bible provides applicable examples of what it’s like to waffle between wholeheartedly trusting God, being swayed by human relationships, and back to finally trusting God again.
His life offers insight into who God is and how to communicate with Him. Their relationship offers us hope, as it reveals that God remains faithful even when we are not faithful.
Do not get the idea that a man or woman after God’s own heart is perfect. He or she is most assuredly not. In many ways, David is no different than you or me. That is another reason I chose David to be a part of building your confidence in God. Everyone can relate to him.
The same God who extended David grace for some terrible choices he made also extends grace to you and me (Ephesians 2:8–9). God did not give up on David, and He refuses to give up on you, too. God knows the core of your trust issues, and I want to help you navigate through them to find freedom.
In the following chapters, I will share more details about David, but for now, allow me to pull back the curtain of my life, revealing the once-timid girl wrestling with emotional, mental, and spiritual turmoil.
Meet Trust Issues
While sitting in my worn oversized brown chair, bending my torso parallel to the matching footrest in front of it, teardrops began accumulating on my eyeglass lenses.
My spirit was grieving while my heart asked God, “Can I trust You?”
This position and question are a familiar place to me. As life brings grief, questions of “why,” and helplessness, I find myself seeking the face of God. He is my safe place. There is nothing I share with Him that He does not keep between the two of us. Allowing myself to be honest with God deepens my intimacy with Him.
I asked God if I could trust Him because my husband and I were about to move across the country, leaving our youngest son behind as he continued his academics at the local college. Typically, children are the ones who move away from their parents, not the other way around.
I wrestled with the thought that he would feel abandoned. Fear of the unknown crept into my soul. Then I cried out to God, asking Him to help me trust Him in this.
While diving deep into the reservoir of my heart, I asked myself why it is so challenging to have confidence in God. At nearly fifty years old, you would think I would have a solution to my confidence issues. In a moment of desperation, I found myself writing a letter to myself in hopes of discovering the reason for my lack of faith. To unpack my past, I needed to express, in a raw way, the difficulties I have experienced trusting people—and God.
We each have our own stories about broken trust. While mine is not extraordinary, I am granting you insight into my story to reveal my weak foundation of confidence in people and God.
Reflecting on my sixteen-year-old self, my memory awakened to the baggage that young girl carried into her relationship with Christ. The contrast from then to now is staggering. I am living proof that, by God’s grace, He can turn ashes into something beautiful.