#RelationshipGoals

From Skylyn... Entering high school I was under the naive impression that waiting until marriage was normal, and anyone who didn’t was an anomaly. I found out quickly that my whole perception was backwards and the people who abstained until marriage were actually extremely rare. It was then that I realized that I had a challenge ahead of me, not that I had changed my mind about what I wanted, but that it may be a little harder than I had grown up thinking. Many of my friends who hadn’t been raised with as strong of a Christian foundation or as much family support on the matter began getting caught up in unhealthy relationships and lifestyles. It upset me to witness this happening, and it was also hard and confusing for me because they made what they were doing seem fun and normal. I was blessed when my first real boyfriend ended up being someone with the same beliefs as me, which made that relationship so much easier and healthier. Although we shared morals there were still times when it was hard because we felt abnormal and everyone and everything around us was making it seem like it would be so much easier to just give in to temptation. As we spent more time together it did get harder, however I held on to my beliefs and self-respect. He also respected me too much to do something that could potentially hurt me, and I am proud to say that during that two year relationship and my “first love” I remained pure and he and I are still friends today. Looking back I realize that being extremely picky and finding someone with the same morals is probably the best way to remain pure until marriage. The next year I got into another relationship, and it seemed fine at first but it didn’t take me long to realize that this boy would not make my plans of purity as easy and looking back I should have gotten out of it right then, but I thought that I could change him. We dated for about five months and the pressure was constant from his friends, my friends, and him. I knew that this was something I should get away from, but it was difficult because I liked him and simply wanted to go to prom with him so I just made sure we mostly only hung out in group settings and if we were ever hanging out alone there was always something to do. It seemed like now that we were older my friends were an even more constant reminder that I was an outlier on the social chart. They were incessantly trying to get me to go to parties with them and telling me about their crazy nights like they were the most amazing times of their lives that I was missing out on. I was pressured constantly to “just do it already.” I was teased and called uptight and prude. When I got out of that relationship, my purity unscathed, it was like a weight off of my shoulders and I realized that having to work that hard to guard myself against someone that should be helping me protect my purity was something I would never do again. I know that conquering high school was not the end of the challenge of remaining pure, but I learned a lot and I have no doubt that I can save myself until marriage. The best advice I have to give other girls who have made the choice to remain pure until marriage is to make it known. Make it known that you have the utmost respect and that you will not stand for anyone who will treat you any differently than you deserve. Taking this stand may bring hardships and even some bullying your way, but the outcome is so worth the struggle. Being very picky is another way to make staying pure much easier. Find someone who knows your beliefs and is willing to respect them from the very beginning. To me the golden rule applies to purity, treat your future husband the way you would like him to treat you. Even though I do not know him yet there is no way I want my future husband to be out acting immorally right now, so there is no way I will do that to him. I think about my husband whoever that may be, and I know that I am going to love them with all of my heart, and the greatest gift I can give that person will be saving myself wholly for them. My wedding day will be infinitely more special and my marriage more sacred by making this choice to stay pure until then and although it can be difficult in today’s society I know that it is beyond worth it.

How To’s

• Realize it will be a challenge.

• Remember you may feel like a minority.

• Choose someone with the same values. BE PICKY!

• Make it known that you want to be respected.

• Be ready to possibly be teased, rejected, or bullied. Keep your focus on what is really important.

• Only be with someone who has your same morals.

• Only be with your boyfriend in public, doing activities. Keep busy.

• Think of your future spouse, “Even though I do not know him yet there is no way I want my future husband to be out acting immorally right now, so there is no way I will do that to him.”

• Think of your wedding day and how special you want it to be and what you want it to mean.