Manufactured Manhood

From Chapter 1, The Boy: Assembly Required Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6 There is a raging storm brewing in this country and its wake could wash away the future manhood of our teenage boys. The storm is called “The Absence of Positive Male Influence.” In many counseling sessions, I hear “rejection,” “neglect,” “abandonment,” and “apathy” used to describe the relationship between boys and their fathers. Boys are coming from homes where their need for a close interpersonal relationship with a man is not being met. When there’s no nurturing relationship with a positive role model, they learn what it means to be a man from the wrong sources. We’re in a time when “training up” our boys is either rarely or poorly practiced. The world system, influenced by Satan, has convinced us that discipline in almost any form, especially physical, is abuse. Of course I agree that when abuse occurs, the abuser should face consequences. However, fear shouldn’t stop us from disciplining our children. Proverbs 22:15 says, “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of correction will drive it far from him.” When we avoid God’s Word or fail to put it into practice, we allow the world system to mold our boys instead of us. And like clay on a potter’s wheel, when they aren’t molded, our boys end up warped. It’s our responsibility to correct their behavior. When a situation arises concerning an undisciplined boy and his lack of respect for himself, women, authority, and even God, we have to ask, “Where was the man in his life?” I watched a news story once about four boys robbing and killing a man for $400.00 to buy school clothes. The perpetrators were all between the ages of 17 and 19, and two of the boys had full football scholarships. The crime carried a minimum penalty of 35 years in jail before being eligible for parole, with the maximum being a death sentence. Not only was a life taken and four lives ruined, but the lives of families on both sides were forever impacted. If these boys had been trained to respect others and disciplined with love, their lives would have gone in a completely different direction—the way they should have gone, according to the scripture at the beginning of this chapter. It’s true we reap what we sow… When we take a caring and active role in training our boys, we don’t know how the blessing will return to us, but we can be assured that it will. The other side of the coin is the consequence of opting out of the responsibility of training and caring for our boys. The next chapter will help us understand why we can’t afford to.