Sittin’ at a Bus Stop, Waitin’ on a Train

THE LAST CALL:

“Hey Ma, what’s up?”

“Oh nothing much. I’ve taken some days off from work to clean this house and celebrate my birthday.”

“Got big plans?”

“Well tomorrow night I am going to the ROPE Awards show (Reunion of Professional Entertainers) and Allen, you are not going to believe what I get to do on my birthday….I get to meet Pat Boone. Do you know how long I have waited to meet Pat Boone?”

“Ma, that is fantastic. How is all this going to happen?” He questioned. I explained that Pat Boone had a new CD and was going to have a signing release event at the Ernest Tubb Record Shop on Broadway. David McCormick, the owner, had told me about it and wanted to know if I could come…..Allen was so excited because he knew how I had loved Pat Boone since I was a young teen. Again, emotions were stirred when he said, “Ma, promise me something.” I laughed and said, “What this time?” “Ma, when you see Pat, give him a message for me. Tell him how much his music has meant to me because I knew him through my mother. Please tell him that for me.” He went on to say, “He doesn’t know me from Adam but I want him to know that.” I promised him if I got any time at all with Pat that I would make sure I delivered the message. “Make sure you tell him that.” I agreed, and the subject changed.

He interrupted with “Hey Ma, the strangest thing just happened to me.” “What happened” I asked? “Well, I had the day off and was going to do a bunch of stuff, but I sat down to have a cup of coffee and must have gone to sleep, but when I woke up I thought I was late for work and I called in to tell them I was on my way. They said I was off today.” I could tell his voice was trembling and as any mother would do I tried to console him. “Son, that happens sometimes, you must have been really tired.”

“No Ma, this was different. It was scary!” He started to cry and said, “I just want to come home. I want to see my mother.” Now my voice was trembling but for his sake I tried to control my emotions. “Allen, you will see your mother in just two weeks and we are going to have such a good time.”

We had planned our annual trip to East Tennessee to watch the leaves change color. The lodge had been rented and family had been invited. We had planned every meal and it was going to be a great time. Allen was so excited that his nephew was coming. They had been communicating their big plans to sit on the deck and play guitar and maybe even go fishing. “I know Ma, but I just want to come home!”

“Hey Ma, promise me something?” My mind raced through all the things he might want me to promise but this fell into a totally different category…. “Promise me if I don’t make it to the get-together that you will go anyway.” “And just what is going to get in the way of stopping you from coming?” I replied. “Just promise me!” He said. “OK, I promise I will go anyway, but why wouldn’t you be able to make it?” “Ma, I’m just saying….” I could tell he was becoming more emotional. “Son, is something wrong?”

There was a silence. He didn’t answer my question.

“Ma, do you remember ……..?” and he recalled several childhood memories and how much he loved looking back on those special times. “And do you remember …..?” he continued on with school events and people he had known and how he knew I had done the best I could to make everything work and everyone happy. He laughed and in his mocking of my sarcastic mannerisms said, “And even though you failed many times, you always made up for it.” We began to laugh but I could tell he was still crying.

I made every attempt to hold back my tears and be strong for his emotions as he continued with his memories. “Ma, you know I love my sisters. Even though we didn’t always get along, I love them with all my heart.” “I know you do Son, and they know you do,” I told him. “I hope so,” he continued.

“Oh Ma, do you remember when you asked me to go graveyard hopping with you in East Tennessee? I could have thought of a million things I would have rather done, but I knew how much it meant to and I’m glad I went. Now I know where all the bodies are buried and as a matter of fact I know all your childhood memories,” he laughed. I told him he could probably tell some of my stories better than I could and then his tone turned serious again.

“Ma, you know all the family situations we contend with? For you I have done all I can to be a part of our family and it is just obvious they live in their own world and unless you are giving, you are just not a part of their agenda. I am officially washing my hands of them all! Am I wrong in doing that?” I took a deep breath of relief and said, “Son, it’s time, and when you’re not accepted you shake the dust off your feet and walk away. NO! You’re not wrong and we are in agreement.” His response was, “We tried, didn’t we?” I answered with a simple, “Yep!”

I turned the conversation back to the house we had rented and watching the leaves change and how excited I was to get to see him and “time will pass and we will be there before you know it.” He said, “Yep, and I hope no one feels left out but this is going to be mine and Mo’s (his nephew) time together. We have it all planned.” I reassured him that no one would feel left out and it would be a fun time for all. “Just sayin’,” he reminded me.

His emotions rose again with, “Ma, I just can’t shake this feeling of waking up and calling in to work….it was mind boggling to say the least. I just can’t shake the strangeness of it all.” I tried to explain again that he must have been exceptionally tired, but he would have none of that. “I just want to come home.” He repeated. My lips were sore from biting them trying to be strong and again I tried to reassure him that everything was OK and we would be together real soon and I couldn’t wait. “Me, too, but Ma, remember you promised….” I interrupted him in a stern voice, “I PROMISE!”

We talked about his friends Jeremy and Travis and how they had been discussing Jesus, and how he felt closer to God than he ever had through those conversations. I remember him saying, “They are good people, Ma!”

“Ma, I need to tell you something.” He paused and with a trembling voice began, “Ma, you know I love you don’t you?” I reassured him that I most definitely knew he loved me. Sarcastically I replied, “Or you wouldn’t put up with all my crazy ways.” He snickered but then the tone of his voice changed again. “Ma, we’re a lot alike. I got your small hands, I got your emotions, I got your sarcastic ways,” we both laughed and then he continued, “but Ma, there is one thing you never have to doubt, I love you with all my heart. I love my Mama!” “I know you do Son, and your Mama loves you!” “I just want to come home. I love you with all my heart. Don’t you ever forget that!” Tears were ravaging my cheeks, but I was able to brokenly respond, “And don’t you ever forget how much I love you!”

“See I knew I was your favorite.” He joked.

I repeated, “LOVE YOU, SON.” “Mom, I just want you to know and always remember I love you. Night, Ma!”

“Night, son.”

For those who know me well, they know for everything that happens in my life there is a song to touch my emotions. In looking back and replaying this conversation over and over in my mind, the lyric that comes to mind is, “If this is our last time….let me love you for a life time.” There is no warning for a last time. We never anticipate a call to be the LAST CALL.