When Thunder Rolls

The room was dim – the only light being natural lighting from the windows. Although the shades were drawn, slices of sunlight still managed to find their way through. It looked like a hospital room although it wasn’t; it was our bedroom. Our bed stood in the middle of the room and directly to the left was a tall dresser with a table sitting next to it. The tops of both were loaded with various health care items – weapons of warfare to battle this horrifying cancer. Across the room stood another dresser on which sat get well cards from various people all hoping and praying for Jacob’s complete recovery. The battle had been long and intense as it raged it’s fury throughout my husband’s body. It had almost been a year now, since our world came crashing down around us with the news of “Malignant Melanoma.” We fought with the intensity of a heated battle zone. Artillery fire whizzed and whistled above us… all around us… everywhere as we gallantly fought on. But no matter how hard we tried to gain ground we were pushed farther and farther back… we were losing ground and there was nothing we could do about it.

Jacob sat in an overstuffed chair to the side of the room. There wasn’t much left of him by this point. What once was a strong muscular man had wasted away to a mere skeleton. The day was Saturday, October 10, 2009. A hushed silence filled the room as my husband rested. A deep gripping fear latched on to me as I entered the room and saw his still form. He’d been acting strange today and I knew something was terribly wrong.

I quietly shut the door and walked to his side. He’d slipped into his own world for most the day and I couldn’t shake him from it. But, now he was awake! I knelt down and rested my arms on the side of his chair. My man was the bravest I’d ever known. The pain he endured that year was more than I could describe. It ripped my heart out to see him this way – if only I could take some of this agony and bear it for him. Concern was written all over my face as my eyes searched his. I didn’t understand what was happening and felt so helpless. My whole world was wrapped up in this man I loved more than life itself and there was nothing I could do to free him of this nightmare. It just kept going on and on.

At this point he took a deep breath and slowly let out a long sigh. He placed his hand over his chest.

My heart melted inside. I was so afraid. “Is anything wrong that I should be concerned about?” I asked.

He didn’t want me to worry so he sweetly answered, “No.”

He then turned his head and looked deeply into my eyes. Slowly, a beautiful smile spread across his face. It was if all the cherished memories of our past melted into one. All the joy, laughter, and love of a lifetime were wrapped up in his smile. It was the most beautiful smile I had seen during his entire sickness. It was his last gift to me. Almost like he was trying to say goodbye but couldn’t bring himself to actually speak the words. He knew it would pierce my heart. His weary face was so precious and his smile full of pure devotion. I was the only woman he had ever loved and now it was time to say goodbye. That smile was my last personal moment with him before the mist came back to cloud his mind and ability to function. In a matter of hours he’d slip from this life and into the next. Soon he’d be gone.