Honey, If You Leave Me, I Am Going with You

About two years ago, I was returning home after giving a speech in which I had the good fortune to share with others my thoughts about how to live an inspired life. As usual, I was very excited about the message that I had to share and grateful for the positive feedback that I had received from the audience following the presentation. My excitement about having given a speech that was well received was accompanied by a feeling of humility over the fact that I had been given the honor of being able to share things that I know deep in my heart can help people have a happy life. I never take credit for what happens when I give a talk because, as I always share with my audience, I believe that I am just a grateful messenger for the message that God has placed in my heart. And, I also always keep in my mind that I never really say anything new when I give a speech because everything I say can be found in the Holy Scriptures. And, on this night in particular, as I was thanking God for the opportunity to hear his message and to share his wisdom, I asked Him what I could do to take my talks to the next level and to reach more people. It was then that I heard a voice that told me, “Write a book.” While I am in the practice of listening to God’s inner voice, I was still shocked at what I thought that I heard. In total surprise, I asked, “What?” The voice again said, “Write a book.” Part of my surprise at hearing this message is that I never went to college (except when I drove my kids to their schools) and my English is far from perfect (since my native language is Spanish). Naturally, I was hesitant and it took me two years to write this book. Sometimes, we may wonder why everything takes so long in our lives, but most of the time it is because we do not listen to the inner voice that tells us what to do and when to do it. The scriptures are full of examples of people who hesitate to act in response to a clearly given message. The Israelites were captives in Egypt for four hundred years. During this time, they complained to God every day about how tired they were, asked Him to show them a better way of life, and promised to do whatever He asked them to do if they could just get their freedom. So, when God finally acted upon their petition and sent Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, what did they do? Even though they were walking towards a promised land of freedom and abundance, a trip that was supposed to take six weeks, they grew tired of the harsh conditions and discomfort that they encountered on the journey and started to complain to God after only two weeks. Of course, as we all know, God became upset because the Israelites were complaining even though he was directing them towards everything that they wanted. So, instead of a six week journey, God kept the Israelites walking around in circles for forty years before they reached the Promised Land. I believe that this is what we, as God’s creatures, do all of the time. We ask God for something and He begins working for us, but, as soon as we encounter any difficulty, we complain to God. We quickly start to complain that the journey is too hard and God responds by making us walk in circles until we truly put our faith in Him and let Him take us there. I waited two years to obey God by writing this book, making all kinds of excuses. But despite making excuses that seemed legitimate to me at the time, I came to realize what we all must come to realize – you can’t fool God. Perhaps one of the reasons that I procrastinated in writing this book was a crisis in confidence. Had I done enough of the work in my own life to justify God’s confidence in me in inspiring me to write this book? There is an old saying among the Amish that says, “If you want potatoes, pray to God and grab a hoe.” It took me awhile to understand that the trajectory of my own life, the field work that I had done under God’s direction, had led me to the point where I was ready to write. I have been a devoted student of life and its spiritual dimensions for over twenty years. I have read hundreds of books, attended seminars all over the country, and listened to countless hours of CD’s while in my car. I have been a practitioner of the Dale Carnegie method and a member of Toastmasters. I have given over 750 speeches audiences ranging from one person to thousands. Whether I was paid nothing or a lot, I have given my all because I believed that it was a calling and a great source of happiness. I also learned another important lesson in the process of writing this book. Like the Israelite’s came to learn, God’s plans for us sometimes leads us in surprising directions and the path to realizing God’s plans for us can take some surprising turns. I originally believed my job was to write an inspirational book about life in general. This is usually what I talk about when I give a speech. But during the last year of writing this book, I found that I had an increasing desire to write about the things that I believe are essential to maintaining a healthy marriage for life. And this is what I have tried to do. Is this a perfect book? No, but it is the best that I, as an imperfect human being, have been able to do. In this book, have I been able to cover all of the thoughts that I have about marriage? No, but as you read this book, I hope that you will find at least one or two ideas that you can work on in your efforts to sustain your marriage during both good times and bad. My hope is that, if you are experiencing difficult times in your marriage (and don’t we all), that the thoughts and ideas presented here can help you find a way to stay together. It breaks my heart every time a couple breaks apart, breaking families and leaving children confused about life. Will you, the reader, like every point that I make in this book? The answer is, almost certainly no, but I have attempted to do here what I try to do in my inspirational speeches. In this book, I hope to be able to help you understand some of the basic laws that can help you live a spiritual life and maintain a healthy marriage. It is often said that, “It is not what you know that can hurt you, but what you do not know.” In this book, I will try to also point out that it is often what you think you know, but do not, that can produce harm. Understood and used properly, these laws will work in you favor. If misunderstood or misused (and I believe that most people try to use these laws in the wrong way), these laws will actually work against you, whether you realize it or not. When I give a speech to a crowd of people, I usually tell them that I am going to be deliberately tough on them in the belief that, if toughness inspires them to take action and improve their situation in life, I will have done my job. If is oftentimes said that, “The truth will make you free.” If, after finishing a talk, I am not the most popular person in the room, it will be worth it if something that I have said has helped a person make a positive change in their life. This is my intention in making a speech and the source of my greatest satisfaction. While I might not be the most popular person with the audience at the conclusion of one of my speeches, I am probably the most excited person in the room. The simple reason for this is that I know that I have given them a message from my heart and this alone produces happiness in me since I firmly believe that the two most powerful ways to be happy is to be grateful for your blessings and to do things for others without expecting anything in return. I have tried to apply the same principles of gratitude, service, and toughness in telling the truth in writing this book. The ultimate goal of any writer is to produce a “win-win” situation between the reader and the author. Writing this book has made me happy. If this book makes a difference in your life, I will be happy to know that God has used me to help make that difference. May God bless you!